[ They get a little distracted by all the neat stuff in here - it wasn't often that gems got to see items that were entirely new to their understanding (other than new Lunarian weapons, that is), so everything in this funky little town is pretty fascinating to Cairn. Seeing it all collected here in one place is especially interesting, even those weird things that he seemed to be building, but of course it's in their nature to stare the longest at the bookshelf.
But Cairn isn't the spacey type, so their attention is drawn back pretty easily by his asking, setting the crate down so they can do ask he asks. The sleeves of his jacket are puffy like their own so it's hard to pull on over their uniform, but they do so quickly nonetheless... it hangs off them quite a bit more than it does on him given their smaller and thinner overall frame. They take a moment to inspect the garment on themself before giving him an expectant look - looks normal to them, but they guess it's possible he could see something different. ]
[ meanwhile, Lupin stands there, chin resting in the crook of his thumb and index finger as he watches the jacket's every move like a warden watching an unruly prisoner. He's waiting for the inevitable transformation into a tutu or a chicken suit or whatever else. But... nothing happens. Cairngorm is just standing there, wearing his jacket. Which is sort of adorably big on them, but that wasn't the point of this exercise.
A sigh. ]
So it's something about me, then...? I should have guessed. [ as he speaks, he crouches down, retrieving his laptop out from under his bed. He stes it atop the covers, flipping it open and launching the barebones word processor installed on it before backing away. Just in case Cairngorm has anything to say. ] You feel normal?
[ They just nod, slipping the jacket off while they walk over to where he's setting up the laptop. They're even considerate enough to neatly fold the jacket and put it back on the bed, before sitting down carefully and beginning to type, albeit fairly slowly: ]
I feel fine But I don't know why I expected anything good to come out of following that dumb bird's instructions I did what it said and still
[ They sigh without opening their mouth, staring hard at the screen. ]
Honestly I can't tell if your clothes being like that is because you listened to it or you didn't
[ Is it really that hard not to pick something up... they look around his room again, all the clutter, and guess that it really is, at least for Lupin. Luckily for him them not being able to talk keeps them from wasting time typing any unnecessarily rude comment about it. ]
Well it wasnt that hard not to look But I guess Im being punished for talking with who I heard The bird didnt care when I spoke with them so I thought it was okay
[ There's hesitation after he asks, both out of a weird sense of mourning and a confusion around how to explain it to him... it shows in how there's a rare somberness and bitterness to their typically unimpressed expression, before they close their eyes and will it away. When they open them again, they type diligently to explain, not pausing to look at him at all. They don't want to be interrupted. ]
My former self. There used to be another gem formed over this body called "Ghost Quartz", but they got chipped off of me during a Lunarian attack 102 years ago.
[ It wasn't hard not to look at someone they had never seen face to face, but they couldn't resist a chance to hear their voice again, fabricated as it was. ]
I don't think humans can be born with multilayered structures, so just think of it as two personalities sharing one body That's how Ghost and I were
[ it's safe to say that nothing like that exists for a human, no. In fact, Lupin looks rather puzzled as he reads it, trying to picture what Cairn's describing in his mind. They had... someone else living on top of them? Or, more accurately, they shared a body with another gem, as they say. It's a bizarre concept. ]
So... They were like family to you, or... No, you might not even have something like that. [ He shakes his head. It's hard to imagine what the relationship between those two might have been like. Humans who have "two personalities in one body" are sick in mind; this is different. There was physically another person in there with Cairngorm, and they were killed, by the sounds of it. ] I can't imagine what that's like... You must miss them.
[ it's hard to blame them for giving in. Lupin doesn't have any family, but he knows what it's supposed to be like. ]
Could you talk to them before? When you shared a body, I mean.
[ They nod. Explaining their livelihood to Lupin has become routine at this point, so they don't really mind it, and they're finding that each time is a little less awkward than the last. Its been quite a while since they've talked with anyone about Ghost, anyhow, and it seems respectful to remember them every once in a while. ]
We could talk. It wasn't like both of us talking out loud to each other though I could speak to them without talking, kind of like what you might consider thinking
[ As he has rightfully imagined, losing someone that they shared thoughts with was a disorienting experience, one that they're not sure they will ever be used to. It also meant that they were inseparable, both physically and mentally, which often made it difficult for other gems to see them as being distinct. ]
Because of that I'm not sure how close that is to "family" Human families have visible separate members, or so I've read But we were understood as the outer Ghost and the inner Ghost Two gems but both of us "Ghost Quartz" Likely humans don't have anything like it
[ A nod - he understands, even if he can't say that he gets it, exactly. It's difficult to imagine living like that, let alone living like that for hundreds of years. He takes a seat on the bed next to the laptop, rotating it enough that he can read it while Cairn can still type. ]
You're right about that. I can't think about any relationship a human could have that's like that.
[ to be separated from someone who'd always known your every thought and feeling - it sounds... simultaneously freeing and lonely. ]
... What did you talk about? When you saw them, I mean.
The gems who have also been stolen since they got taken My new name Both are things the real Ghost would have wanted to know about.
[ They're quick to type responses to that, just responding easily with the truth. When they sigh, they let go of a little of their bitterness, face settling closer to neutral than anything else. They've long since made peace with the fact that they would never be with the true Ghost again, so all of this was more of them capitalizing on a chance to hear their voice again. ]
Mostly they spent time trying to get me to turn around though So we didn't get to talk about much else
I guess you wouldn't. In the end, it was just a hallucination, or something like it.
[ Lupin finds himself feeling glad he didn't have any voices like that. He's certain he would have whipped his head around in an instant if he heard Cardia calling for him.
[ That gets a pause. But then, a slow point to what they've previously typed, "both of us Ghost Quartz", before typing again. ]
Not really, other than also "Ghost" or as Ghost themself would have said "the black thing living inside me"
[ Ghost was the only one who could really talk to them, and they were always addressed as "the kid with me", "the other party"--never by a specific name. "Cairngorm" doesn't feel as foreign as it used to, but its still strange, sometimes doesn't feel like their own. ]
Is that shocking to you?
[ They suppose that might be surprising to someone who has only known them as Cairngorm... but in their opinion it was to be expected given their circumstance. ]
[ is it slow because they're silently accusing him of being stupid or just because it's a hard topic... Lupin will never know. He does know one thing, however: he doesn't like hearing about this. As they type out their answers, his frown deepens, and it's a little unfriendlier than his usual disapproving frown. ]
I don't know if "shocking" is the right word. How could they just call you a thing? You're not a thing. You're a person.
[ even if they're a rock, they're most certainly a person, just like Lupin is. That description makes them sound like some kind of nasty parasite. ]
I can understand not having a name, but - they should at least be kind to you. You were the one who was locked away.
[ maybe he shouldn't say these things without fully understanding the context, but it's something he feels strongly about - this isn't the first time he's dealt with something like this. ]
[ They...don't know how to respond to that. Initially, it's shock, just because being acknowledged so directly catches them off guard. But that shock melts into conflict, as they don't really see themself as a victim, nor do they really blame Ghost for the way they felt...his words are at odds with the way they (and the other gems) see their own life. ]
You're the first to see it that way, I'll give you that.
[ Them being "locked away", that is. It's hard to advocate for someone you can't hear or see, and they have to admit that their behavior was likely unsavory to the other gems in comparison to the meek and passive Ghost. So they'd never in their life expected any of the gems to scold Ghost the way he just has. ]
Whether or not Ghost was wrong to feel the way they did about me doesn't matter Saying they should have acted one way or another is pointless. They've been gone for over a century
[ They give him A Look, sitting back from the keys and resting their cheek on their palm. If being with Ghost taught them one thing, it's to be an observer, and they can tell by the way he is reacting that he must be likening this to something else... though they don't have the effort to ask through text; they just watch for his reaction and try to figure it out for themself. ]
[ at that, Lupin shakes his head stubbornly in refusal, looking Cairn in the eyes quite seriously. These are the circumstances of a being extremely unlike him, in a society nothing like his, with a life he can't imagine - he's aware of that. Yet he can't just overlook this. He doesn't want his friend to think they're less than human - inhuman or otherwise. ]
It does matter. They might be gone, but you're still here. No one's more affected by that attitude than you.
[ his tone is firm. ]
I might be the first, but I promise you I'm not the only one who'd say this to you. [ a pause; his gaze softens a little bit, although he remains serious. ] You were locked inside someone else all that time? Then I say I'm lucky I got to meet you once you were free. Cairngorm is grumpy and a little hard to know, but I know they're caring and kind and beautiful person, and I like them.
[ Their eyes definitely widen as he speaks. No one...not one person has ever spoken to them like this. It almost hurts, in a bittersweet way. Only someone like Lupin, who doesn't know their past, can see them as they truly are, but it still feels...validating, even good, to be reassured for once. Not that they know how to express it, other than by the strangely vulnerable expression they look at him with. ]
Ah...
[ There's a small clink when another muted gem falls from their lips, a heavy silence that follows it. The sound pulls them out of the moment, gives them time to snap out of the weakness they'd just showed-- it only takes a slight shake of their head for them to control their expression again, easing into a slight frown. Their movements are slow to pluck the gem from the floor, setting it down on the bed calmly. ]
You have a funny idea of what kindness is.
[ He must be out of his mind, is what they think. They aren't kind; they're "rude, violent, and selfish"-- its hard to look past how Ghost had described them with their dying breath, no matter how sincere Lupin seems here. Its a slippery slope if they read too much into the validation-- it likely is selfish to get drunk off the feeling of being favored. So they need to back away. ]
[ it's certainly the first time he's seen them make an expression like that - and while he'd normally be happy he got Cairngorm to feel something other than disdain, in this context, he can only hope that means what he's saying is getting through to them. They seem done talking about it now, and he doesn't intend to push the issue further. They're not quite close enough for that yet. Cardia was young and clueless about the world; Cairn, on the other hand, has ten times the life experience he does, and he won't patronize them if he can help it.
He does offer a smile at that, though. ]
What can I say? I like keeping strange company. [ honestly, cairn is only slightly weirder than the people he normally hangs out with... ] Do you want to stay here? I'll sleep on the couch, so you can have your privacy.
[ It's too bad they can't talk and it'll take too much time to type you're the strange one to me. They shake their head. ]
The bed might break if I sleep there
[ These weird peasant beds were not built to support 600 pound crystal people-- they'd found that out the hard way with the bed in their own home. And to pull his mattress out and put it on the floor seems a bit much just to accommodate them for one night. Combined with the fact that the last time they'd stayed out too late they'd gotten dragged off into the woods, and that they'd already warned him before coming here they'd crash if it took too long, they don't necessarily feel like they're intruding, but... that doesn't mean they want to make more of a hassle than necessary. ]
I can take cushions out of the couch and put them back Unless you think the other person who lives here will freak out if they see me
[ They shrug. They're fine sleeping without one but if it floats his boat... they pluck the crystal from the bed, typing with one hand before they move to stand. ]
Thanks For letting me use this
[ Did they add the "for letting me use this" belatedly to avoid him thinking the thanks was for anything else? We'll never know (the answer is yes). Anyway, they don't waste time getting out of his proximity, feeling exhausted both from the time of night and from the emotional consequences of digging up their past. It's making them feel more and more like they need to retreat to the comfort of isolation, so they walk out of his room wordlessly after plucking the other two gems from the crate. They don't need him to tell them how to move cushions, after all. ]
[ not so fast, gem-kun. Lupin's not about to let them leave just like that - especially not after actually opening up to him a little bit. Before they can flee the room, he pulls a sheet off his bed in one smooth motion, even with the laptop on it (that's some Lupin magic for you, Cairngorm), and, gently, he sets it on their shoulders. They always feel so cold, after all. ]
There. And thank you for helping me out. [ and not laughing at him too much while he looks like a fool!! He gives them a playful smile, patting their shoulder once before stepping back. ] Sweet dreams. Try not to break the couch.
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But Cairn isn't the spacey type, so their attention is drawn back pretty easily by his asking, setting the crate down so they can do ask he asks. The sleeves of his jacket are puffy like their own so it's hard to pull on over their uniform, but they do so quickly nonetheless... it hangs off them quite a bit more than it does on him given their smaller and thinner overall frame. They take a moment to inspect the garment on themself before giving him an expectant look - looks normal to them, but they guess it's possible he could see something different. ]
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A sigh. ]
So it's something about me, then...? I should have guessed. [ as he speaks, he crouches down, retrieving his laptop out from under his bed. He stes it atop the covers, flipping it open and launching the barebones word processor installed on it before backing away. Just in case Cairngorm has anything to say. ] You feel normal?
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I feel fine
But I don't know why I expected anything good to come out of following that dumb bird's instructions
I did what it said and still
[ They sigh without opening their mouth, staring hard at the screen. ]
Honestly I can't tell if your clothes being like that is because you listened to it or you didn't
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I mean, I listened to the bird. After it disappeared, though... I may have grabbed something.
[ he scratches at his hair, perhaps a little sheepish. Not that much, though. ]
I am a thief. I don't know what they expected out of me. [ a beat. ] You're getting punished even though you listened?
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Well it wasnt that hard not to look
But I guess Im being punished for talking with who I heard
The bird didnt care when I spoke with them so I thought it was okay
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Who you heard...? [ a blink. ] Right, that's what it was for yellows. I thought it was just looking, myself.
[ he can't help wondering who it is that Cairngorm was talking to... should he ask, or would that be insensitive? He bites the bullet. ]
... Who was it, if you don't mind my asking? There's still a lot about you I don't know.
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My former self.
There used to be another gem formed over this body called "Ghost Quartz", but they got chipped off of me during a Lunarian attack 102 years ago.
[ It wasn't hard not to look at someone they had never seen face to face, but they couldn't resist a chance to hear their voice again, fabricated as it was. ]
I don't think humans can be born with multilayered structures, so just think of it as two personalities sharing one body
That's how Ghost and I were
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So... They were like family to you, or... No, you might not even have something like that. [ He shakes his head. It's hard to imagine what the relationship between those two might have been like. Humans who have "two personalities in one body" are sick in mind; this is different. There was physically another person in there with Cairngorm, and they were killed, by the sounds of it. ] I can't imagine what that's like... You must miss them.
[ it's hard to blame them for giving in. Lupin doesn't have any family, but he knows what it's supposed to be like. ]
Could you talk to them before? When you shared a body, I mean.
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We could talk. It wasn't like both of us talking out loud to each other though
I could speak to them without talking, kind of like what you might consider thinking
[ As he has rightfully imagined, losing someone that they shared thoughts with was a disorienting experience, one that they're not sure they will ever be used to. It also meant that they were inseparable, both physically and mentally, which often made it difficult for other gems to see them as being distinct. ]
Because of that I'm not sure how close that is to "family"
Human families have visible separate members, or so I've read
But we were understood as the outer Ghost and the inner Ghost
Two gems but both of us "Ghost Quartz"
Likely humans don't have anything like it
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You're right about that. I can't think about any relationship a human could have that's like that.
[ to be separated from someone who'd always known your every thought and feeling - it sounds... simultaneously freeing and lonely. ]
... What did you talk about? When you saw them, I mean.
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My new name
Both are things the real Ghost would have wanted to know about.
[ They're quick to type responses to that, just responding easily with the truth. When they sigh, they let go of a little of their bitterness, face settling closer to neutral than anything else. They've long since made peace with the fact that they would never be with the true Ghost again, so all of this was more of them capitalizing on a chance to hear their voice again. ]
Mostly they spent time trying to get me to turn around though
So we didn't get to talk about much else
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[ Lupin finds himself feeling glad he didn't have any voices like that. He's certain he would have whipped his head around in an instant if he heard Cardia calling for him.
There is one thing bothering him, though. ]
Did you... not have a name before?
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Not really, other than also "Ghost"
or as Ghost themself would have said "the black thing living inside me"
[ Ghost was the only one who could really talk to them, and they were always addressed as "the kid with me", "the other party"--never by a specific name. "Cairngorm" doesn't feel as foreign as it used to, but its still strange, sometimes doesn't feel like their own. ]
Is that shocking to you?
[ They suppose that might be surprising to someone who has only known them as Cairngorm... but in their opinion it was to be expected given their circumstance. ]
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I don't know if "shocking" is the right word. How could they just call you a thing? You're not a thing. You're a person.
[ even if they're a rock, they're most certainly a person, just like Lupin is. That description makes them sound like some kind of nasty parasite. ]
I can understand not having a name, but - they should at least be kind to you. You were the one who was locked away.
[ maybe he shouldn't say these things without fully understanding the context, but it's something he feels strongly about - this isn't the first time he's dealt with something like this. ]
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You're the first to see it that way, I'll give you that.
[ Them being "locked away", that is. It's hard to advocate for someone you can't hear or see, and they have to admit that their behavior was likely unsavory to the other gems in comparison to the meek and passive Ghost. So they'd never in their life expected any of the gems to scold Ghost the way he just has. ]
Whether or not Ghost was wrong to feel the way they did about me doesn't matter
Saying they should have acted one way or another is pointless. They've been gone for over a century
[ They give him A Look, sitting back from the keys and resting their cheek on their palm. If being with Ghost taught them one thing, it's to be an observer, and they can tell by the way he is reacting that he must be likening this to something else... though they don't have the effort to ask through text; they just watch for his reaction and try to figure it out for themself. ]
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It does matter. They might be gone, but you're still here. No one's more affected by that attitude than you.
[ his tone is firm. ]
I might be the first, but I promise you I'm not the only one who'd say this to you. [ a pause; his gaze softens a little bit, although he remains serious. ] You were locked inside someone else all that time? Then I say I'm lucky I got to meet you once you were free. Cairngorm is grumpy and a little hard to know, but I know they're caring and kind and beautiful person, and I like them.
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Ah...
[ There's a small clink when another muted gem falls from their lips, a heavy silence that follows it. The sound pulls them out of the moment, gives them time to snap out of the weakness they'd just showed-- it only takes a slight shake of their head for them to control their expression again, easing into a slight frown. Their movements are slow to pluck the gem from the floor, setting it down on the bed calmly. ]
You have a funny idea of what kindness is.
[ He must be out of his mind, is what they think. They aren't kind; they're "rude, violent, and selfish"-- its hard to look past how Ghost had described them with their dying breath, no matter how sincere Lupin seems here. Its a slippery slope if they read too much into the validation-- it likely is selfish to get drunk off the feeling of being favored. So they need to back away. ]
But we got off topic. Its getting dark out
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He does offer a smile at that, though. ]
What can I say? I like keeping strange company. [ honestly, cairn is only slightly weirder than the people he normally hangs out with... ] Do you want to stay here? I'll sleep on the couch, so you can have your privacy.
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The bed might break if I sleep there
[ These weird peasant beds were not built to support 600 pound crystal people-- they'd found that out the hard way with the bed in their own home. And to pull his mattress out and put it on the floor seems a bit much just to accommodate them for one night. Combined with the fact that the last time they'd stayed out too late they'd gotten dragged off into the woods, and that they'd already warned him before coming here they'd crash if it took too long, they don't necessarily feel like they're intruding, but... that doesn't mean they want to make more of a hassle than necessary. ]
I can take cushions out of the couch and put them back
Unless you think the other person who lives here will freak out if they see me
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but oh, right, they weigh [redacted] kilos. Lupin nods. ]
I don't think he'll care. At least let me give you a blanket, though.
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Thanks
For letting me use this
[ Did they add the "for letting me use this" belatedly to avoid him thinking the thanks was for anything else? We'll never know (the answer is yes). Anyway, they don't waste time getting out of his proximity, feeling exhausted both from the time of night and from the emotional consequences of digging up their past. It's making them feel more and more like they need to retreat to the comfort of isolation, so they walk out of his room wordlessly after plucking the other two gems from the crate. They don't need him to tell them how to move cushions, after all. ]
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[ not so fast, gem-kun. Lupin's not about to let them leave just like that - especially not after actually opening up to him a little bit. Before they can flee the room, he pulls a sheet off his bed in one smooth motion, even with the laptop on it (that's some Lupin magic for you, Cairngorm), and, gently, he sets it on their shoulders. They always feel so cold, after all. ]
There. And thank you for helping me out. [ and not laughing at him too much while he looks like a fool!! He gives them a playful smile, patting their shoulder once before stepping back. ] Sweet dreams. Try not to break the couch.