[ at the mention of it, Lupin looks a little tired, rolling over onto his back once again with a sigh. That was the worst it's ever been for him, probably, getting turned like that... He's grateful it was a long time ago, too, if only because it makes it easier for him to forget. ]
Obviously not, [ he scoffs. ] Fairy tales aren't much like reality, you know. Wolves are strong, and smart, and they like working together. But there are lone wolves, too - ones that got rejected by their family, or don't fit in with the group. They live on their own, doing things their own way.
[ ... come to think of it, he doesn't think he's ever actually told this to anyone before. It feels a little weird. Lupin laughs, nearing sheepish. ]
... Well, I was a lot younger when I came up with it. I'll admit that I mostly thought it sounded cool.
[ Is he supposed to be like one of those "lone wolves" then...? That's probably why he mentioned it. They let out a long sigh, folding their hands over each other on their midsection while they rest their eyes, wanting to say I already knew that about fairytales not being perfect representations of the world, but it's just not worth the effort. ]
Sounding cool was important to you even back then...
[ Actually, they guess that's not that surprising. They're reminded of younger gems who dream of being cool battle heroes and wanting to one day be a valiant and respected senior, and think it might've been like that for him, too. ]
I guess I just didn't care about stuff like that when I was younger. [ A beat. ] Even if I had cared, it's not like we choose like that.
[ Cairngorm can act like they're above it, but he knows they've got plenty of pride of their own - even if it simultaneously coexists with that crazy inferiority complex of theirs somehow.
He's heard a lot about their world and lifestyle, but not too much about Cairngorm's personal history. For obvious reasons, of course. They didn't really have one. He glances over their way, looking at them sideways. ]
[ Maybe Lupin had been too focused on how they had obliterated Phos's head to see Sensei in the background of that memory. They can't really blame him, they suppose, even if Sensei is hard to miss anywhere else. Either way, this isn't information they feel is that sensitive, so they just let it out casually. ]
Though, it's technically Phos who decided I should have a different name. They suggested the idea to him to begin with.
[ At that, their eyes open, just staring at the ceiling. Then, they give out an indifferent sigh. ]
Well, we count him as one of us.
[ The vagueness of their answer is intentional, as they honestly don't know for now. A lot of gems have thought to themselves that Sensei is different from the rest of them, knows more than them, but Cairngorm is within the overwhelming majority that elects not to investigate it. ]
But he looks very different from the rest of the gems. Taller, and bigger. [ How can they explain this to him... ] I haven't actually seen any humans close to his size.
[ At that, they look at him Knowingly. Yes, it is strange, but they don't really have the means of figuring it out, nor the resolve. They turn back to staring at the ceiling. ]
He's too nice, sometimes. [ It comes out like the complaint that it is. ] He's always being so lenient and forgiving to gems like Phos.
[ They give a cut-off sigh, pressing between their brows with the pads of their fingers. ]
[ Lupin chuckles a little, gently leaning his head into Cairngorm's shoulder. ]
Poor Phos. [ gorm is so mean to them!! ] But... I'm glad. I always thought all of you were alone out there.
[ does Lupin trust this Sensei guy? Instinctively, no. However, he's glad that there's someone in Cairngorm's world who's kind and caring towards the gems. Their lives sound too hard. ]
Don't feel bad for them. That's how their personality got to be like that, you know...
[ They chastise him, using their annoyance over that to cover up their embarrassment over him suddenly leaning in closer. This is all still so very new, afterall. Not bad, just new. ]
I thought you might've known of him by seeing a glimpse of him in my memory that one time, but I guess not. [ Slowly, they turn their face to meet his eyes, feeling strangely nervous looking at him up so close. Distracting! What were they gonna say? ] —That was probably for the better.
[ they'll find he's got his eyes closed, actually, and is looking quite comfy laying there. Seems like he's not nervous at all... Too bad it means he's missing them being shy. ]
I was a bit distracted watching their head explode, [ he replies dryly. At the time, he'd been angry at them over it, but it seems that he doesn't feel that way now - really, he's hoping Cairngorm's forgotten about that, too. That was probably the only time they'd been seriously at odds with one another, rather than just playfully. ] Why'd Phos name you instead of him?
[ They trail off, looking at his face more closely since they have a chance with his eyes closed - it's not like it's something they ever allowed themself to do outside of the occasional stolen glance before he confessed to them. So just a peek is okay. Up close, it's easier to see his eyelashes, how soft his hair looks. Lupin has a certain beauty, they'll admit, even if its different from their own. Not that they'll sit on the thought for much longer than a few seconds, darting their eyes away again to the ceiling. ]
Well, it's because he wasn't going to name me, originally. Him and all the other gems kept calling me Ghost, and I was fine with it. There was no reason for me to be called something else.
[ They'd never been called anything but "Ghost," anyway, even if they weren't usually the one being addressed. It's complicated, as is explaining in full the events that led up to Phos deciding to suggest the idea. ]
But, when I told Phos I didn't care whatever they called me... [ ...Yeah. That's still the truth. ] The next day, they suddenly went up to Sensei and asked him if I could be called a more fitting name until Ghost comes back. That's why it's really them who gave it to me.
me coming back to this thread a month later and being punched in the heart by corn's cuteness...
[ Alas, poor Lupin. He'll never know that Cairngorm is admiring him, because he's here relaxing like a fool... (Secretly, he feels relieved that they aren't snapping at him for his behavior back then.)
Still. It's a little odd that Sensei wasn't going to name them, if he really is that nice. He must not be a human, either. That's all Lupin can think... There's no way a human wouldn't give a separate name to Cairngorm. ]
Well, I'm glad they did. You and Ghost are as different as can be. "Cairngorm" is a nice name, besides. It suits you.
[ At that, they look over at him again, taking in his relaxed and peaceful features since that little note came so easily from him. He's not opening his eyes, so they guess it's still safe. Come to think of it, it's sort of cute for him to let his guard down like this - they've certainly never seen him do so around anyone else. He's usually so full of energy that to see him relax is endearing in its own way. ]
It's a good name.
[ They let out sigh, turning to rest their cheek against the bed while they look at him. The fact that they'll describe anything as "good" is a testament to how much Phos's actions had meant to them. ]
Hah. It's always hard to get used to new things. Especially after a thousand years, I imagine.
[ it's unusual indeed to hear Cairngorm praise anything at all; he can't help but open his eyes a sliver at that, if only to make sure he heard them right. When he finds them staring back at him, he's not caught off-guard - only a little entranced by their sparkling crystalline irises, as ever - and he offers a small smile. ]
[ Unlike him, they're still in a stage where it takes them off guard to suddenly make eye contact this close, so they dart their eyes away, pursing their lips together. Why does it feel so different now... they had no problem doing it before a few weeks ago before all this started. Of course they already knew this, but something really has changed between them. It makes them a little nervous. ]
"Especially?" [ They sigh, fixing their bangs while they stare up at the ceiling. ] A thousand years must seem like forever to you, right...
[ its the length of their life, sure, but there's plenty of gems older. for once they don't feel sad mentioning the topic, just slightly amused by the way humans use the phrase instead. ]
[ he does notice that little anxious glance away, of course, because he's trained to notice little minute tells in people; this one doesn't help him pick their pockets, but it does tell him that he's already gotten what he wanted to steal from them. They're so cute. Lupin sighs, mostly to hide a small, endeared laugh, and shuts his eyes again, feeling even more peaceful than before. ]
It's longer than I can even comprehend, to be honest with you. All the things I've seen and done in my 24 years, and you've had fifty times that experience...
Well, then, you'd be surprised to know that the oldest gem other than Sensei is well over three thousand...
[ They only say it to put things into perspective for him - Cairngorm truly is young among gems, no matter how old they seem to him. It feels weird, being treated like some ancient being by the humans around them here - they certainly never thought of themself as old until they were made to interact with a ton of mortals. ]
You wouldn't want to live for that long, would you?
[ Their tone remains casual and faintly curious as they speak. That is generally the idea they get from most humans; that life is meant to be short and meaningful as opposed to drawn out and mundane. With their experiences in the last century or so, they have to say they're starting to agree with the sentiment. ]
[ They can see where he's coming from now, at least. To outlive people you care about is lonely; they're at least familiar with the idea with how close they've gotten to him. But they just sigh, stretching their arms above their head. ]
You're right about that much. It gets boring if you don't have some change every once in a while...
[ "Once in a while" here of course translates to a much longer period of time than he's envisioning, but the sentiment stays the same. ]
For someone like you, you'd get bored even faster. Especially where I live.
You did say there's not much you gems do for fun before, didn't you? With all the time on your hands, it's hard to imagine. [ then again, they're fighting a war. ] What's it like where you live, anyway? I assume it's not always cold and wintery like that.
There are normal seasons - winter, spring, summer, and autumn.
[ They guess they've never thought about what the most essential facts of their homeworld are, outside of the existence of Lunarians. It's not as interesting as the wild lives of humans, that's for sure. ]
But, probably the main difference between the places we come from is that there isn't a lot of other life aside from gems where I live. There are some forms of sea life, and bugs... but most life got wiped out by a series of meteors hundreds of thousands of years ago, before gems started being born. The weather is pretty similar to here, aside from the winter being more extreme... and the size is not so different from the town either.
[ They shrug. ]
That's really all there is. Like I said, there are different places on the land that have names - but most of the land is just open fields. When it's not frozen over.
[ meteors... what the hell. That makes him blink over at them again, but there's little he can do other than accept it as fact. Why not? ]
And this little piece of land you all live on is only the size of this town? Have you ever tried to find other continents, or anything like that? Maybe you can find some place the moon people can't reach you - or find other gems, even.
[ They scoff a little, like the idea is ridiculous. ]
In all the records I've read, no gem has been able to walk out far enough into the ocean to find anything... and when the sea freezes over, I've never seen anything but ice in every direction.
[ A beat. ]
Even if there were other gems, they wouldn't be like us without Sensei. We might not even be able to communicate.
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Obviously not, [ he scoffs. ] Fairy tales aren't much like reality, you know. Wolves are strong, and smart, and they like working together. But there are lone wolves, too - ones that got rejected by their family, or don't fit in with the group. They live on their own, doing things their own way.
[ ... come to think of it, he doesn't think he's ever actually told this to anyone before. It feels a little weird. Lupin laughs, nearing sheepish. ]
... Well, I was a lot younger when I came up with it. I'll admit that I mostly thought it sounded cool.
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Sounding cool was important to you even back then...
[ Actually, they guess that's not that surprising. They're reminded of younger gems who dream of being cool battle heroes and wanting to one day be a valiant and respected senior, and think it might've been like that for him, too. ]
I guess I just didn't care about stuff like that when I was younger. [ A beat. ] Even if I had cared, it's not like we choose like that.
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[ Cairngorm can act like they're above it, but he knows they've got plenty of pride of their own - even if it simultaneously coexists with that crazy inferiority complex of theirs somehow.
He's heard a lot about their world and lifestyle, but not too much about Cairngorm's personal history. For obvious reasons, of course. They didn't really have one. He glances over their way, looking at them sideways. ]
Speaking of... Who did choose your name?
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[ Maybe Lupin had been too focused on how they had obliterated Phos's head to see Sensei in the background of that memory. They can't really blame him, they suppose, even if Sensei is hard to miss anywhere else. Either way, this isn't information they feel is that sensitive, so they just let it out casually. ]
Though, it's technically Phos who decided I should have a different name. They suggested the idea to him to begin with.
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"He?" [ Lupin raises an eyebrow. All the other gems he's met have been genderless. ] Is he not a gem like the rest of you?
[ the bit about Phos is new, too, but that part is just sort of sweet from his point of view. The two of them must really be close, after all. ]
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Well, we count him as one of us.
[ The vagueness of their answer is intentional, as they honestly don't know for now. A lot of gems have thought to themselves that Sensei is different from the rest of them, knows more than them, but Cairngorm is within the overwhelming majority that elects not to investigate it. ]
But he looks very different from the rest of the gems. Taller, and bigger. [ How can they explain this to him... ] I haven't actually seen any humans close to his size.
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[ he's not big-headed enough to think that Cairngorm didn't notice that it was weird, too - but he can't help commenting on it. ]
Is he nice to you?
[ this is the important thing here. If there was someone out there taking care of Cairngorm, he better have been doing a good job!! ]
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He's too nice, sometimes. [ It comes out like the complaint that it is. ] He's always being so lenient and forgiving to gems like Phos.
[ They give a cut-off sigh, pressing between their brows with the pads of their fingers. ]
It'd be better if he were stricter.
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Poor Phos. [ gorm is so mean to them!! ] But... I'm glad. I always thought all of you were alone out there.
[ does Lupin trust this Sensei guy? Instinctively, no. However, he's glad that there's someone in Cairngorm's world who's kind and caring towards the gems. Their lives sound too hard. ]
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[ They chastise him, using their annoyance over that to cover up their embarrassment over him suddenly leaning in closer. This is all still so very new, afterall. Not bad, just new. ]
I thought you might've known of him by seeing a glimpse of him in my memory that one time, but I guess not. [ Slowly, they turn their face to meet his eyes, feeling strangely nervous looking at him up so close. Distracting! What were they gonna say? ] —That was probably for the better.
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I was a bit distracted watching their head explode, [ he replies dryly. At the time, he'd been angry at them over it, but it seems that he doesn't feel that way now - really, he's hoping Cairngorm's forgotten about that, too. That was probably the only time they'd been seriously at odds with one another, rather than just playfully. ] Why'd Phos name you instead of him?
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[ They trail off, looking at his face more closely since they have a chance with his eyes closed - it's not like it's something they ever allowed themself to do outside of the occasional stolen glance before he confessed to them. So just a peek is okay. Up close, it's easier to see his eyelashes, how soft his hair looks. Lupin has a certain beauty, they'll admit, even if its different from their own. Not that they'll sit on the thought for much longer than a few seconds, darting their eyes away again to the ceiling. ]
Well, it's because he wasn't going to name me, originally. Him and all the other gems kept calling me Ghost, and I was fine with it. There was no reason for me to be called something else.
[ They'd never been called anything but "Ghost," anyway, even if they weren't usually the one being addressed. It's complicated, as is explaining in full the events that led up to Phos deciding to suggest the idea. ]
But, when I told Phos I didn't care whatever they called me... [ ...Yeah. That's still the truth. ] The next day, they suddenly went up to Sensei and asked him if I could be called a more fitting name until Ghost comes back. That's why it's really them who gave it to me.
me coming back to this thread a month later and being punched in the heart by corn's cuteness...
Still. It's a little odd that Sensei wasn't going to name them, if he really is that nice. He must not be a human, either. That's all Lupin can think... There's no way a human wouldn't give a separate name to Cairngorm. ]
Well, I'm glad they did. You and Ghost are as different as can be. "Cairngorm" is a nice name, besides. It suits you.
PUNCH
It's a good name.
[ They let out sigh, turning to rest their cheek against the bed while they look at him. The fact that they'll describe anything as "good" is a testament to how much Phos's actions had meant to them. ]
Even if it was odd to get used to.
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[ it's unusual indeed to hear Cairngorm praise anything at all; he can't help but open his eyes a sliver at that, if only to make sure he heard them right. When he finds them staring back at him, he's not caught off-guard - only a little entranced by their sparkling crystalline irises, as ever - and he offers a small smile. ]
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"Especially?" [ They sigh, fixing their bangs while they stare up at the ceiling. ] A thousand years must seem like forever to you, right...
[ its the length of their life, sure, but there's plenty of gems older. for once they don't feel sad mentioning the topic, just slightly amused by the way humans use the phrase instead. ]
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It's longer than I can even comprehend, to be honest with you. All the things I've seen and done in my 24 years, and you've had fifty times that experience...
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[ They only say it to put things into perspective for him - Cairngorm truly is young among gems, no matter how old they seem to him. It feels weird, being treated like some ancient being by the humans around them here - they certainly never thought of themself as old until they were made to interact with a ton of mortals. ]
You wouldn't want to live for that long, would you?
[ Their tone remains casual and faintly curious as they speak. That is generally the idea they get from most humans; that life is meant to be short and meaningful as opposed to drawn out and mundane. With their experiences in the last century or so, they have to say they're starting to agree with the sentiment. ]
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[ the initial shock has worn off; even if he can't conceptualize a lifespan of that length, he's at least not surprised to hear more about it.
Their question is probably a little more serious than they realize. Luckily, he doesn't seem too troubled by it. ]
But you're right. I'm not interested in an eternal life. I imagine I'd get bored after the first few hundred years... That, and it would be lonely.
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You're right about that much. It gets boring if you don't have some change every once in a while...
[ "Once in a while" here of course translates to a much longer period of time than he's envisioning, but the sentiment stays the same. ]
For someone like you, you'd get bored even faster. Especially where I live.
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You did say there's not much you gems do for fun before, didn't you? With all the time on your hands, it's hard to imagine. [ then again, they're fighting a war. ] What's it like where you live, anyway? I assume it's not always cold and wintery like that.
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[ They guess they've never thought about what the most essential facts of their homeworld are, outside of the existence of Lunarians. It's not as interesting as the wild lives of humans, that's for sure. ]
But, probably the main difference between the places we come from is that there isn't a lot of other life aside from gems where I live. There are some forms of sea life, and bugs... but most life got wiped out by a series of meteors hundreds of thousands of years ago, before gems started being born. The weather is pretty similar to here, aside from the winter being more extreme... and the size is not so different from the town either.
[ They shrug. ]
That's really all there is. Like I said, there are different places on the land that have names - but most of the land is just open fields. When it's not frozen over.
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[ meteors... what the hell. That makes him blink over at them again, but there's little he can do other than accept it as fact. Why not? ]
And this little piece of land you all live on is only the size of this town? Have you ever tried to find other continents, or anything like that? Maybe you can find some place the moon people can't reach you - or find other gems, even.
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[ They scoff a little, like the idea is ridiculous. ]
In all the records I've read, no gem has been able to walk out far enough into the ocean to find anything... and when the sea freezes over, I've never seen anything but ice in every direction.
[ A beat. ]
Even if there were other gems, they wouldn't be like us without Sensei. We might not even be able to communicate.
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I think the world's much more vast than you guys realize.
[ but he'll leave it at that. ]
Not able to communicate...? Why not? I suppose they might speak a different language, but...
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