[ The unfortunate answer is that yes, they’d definitely be okay with it. Unbeknownst to others and even themself consciously, they’re always seeking out ways to relinquish themself and the new life they were given. It’d make them sad to let go of everything they’ve become attached to since — but living the way they did for so long has also warped their perception of their personal value. ]
Nothing would really “happen” to me. I’d still be the same. [ They pick up the basket so they can move to stand. ] I just wouldn’t be acting on my own as often.
[ If at all. To them, that is the normal state of things, so any grievances they have about it, they’ve long since gotten over. It was the hand they were dealt. Of the twins, they’re definitely the one more alright with their circumstance— they wouldn’t force Ghost into it, but they also wouldn’t oppose too greatly if asked to give up this body. ]
-- No. [ Lupin's response is quick and decisive. ] Sorry, but I can't let you do that.
[ so maybe this has nothing to do with him, and maybe it's a superhuman affair that he has no chance of truly understanding, and he should keep his nose out of gem business. Whatever. He doesn't really care about that stuff. Lupin, as always, is focused on what matters to him - and in this case, it's the continued existence and freedom of a friend. ]
You have as much of a right to a body of your own as anybody else. If Ghost can't recognize that, then that's their problem. [ his voice is serious, firm. ] If they're really in trouble because of being hollow, we can find some other solution - but we're not sacrificing you. I'm not sacrificing you. I want you here.
[ There's this pesky feeling again, the one that being confronted with others wanting them around and being cared for always brings. It's overwhelming, especially in this instance, and they shouldn't feel as vulnerable as they do when Lupin says what he does. But there's already physical evidence of how emotionally compromised they are in the moment on their face, and the more he goes on, the breaks already present in their face deepen, extending slightly further with a barely audible clink. ]
Ah. Sorry.
[ They're getting too caught up, just like they did the last time Lupin spoke to them like this— except this time it's worse because there are undeniable visual cues that this is affecting them deeply. Cairngorm berates themself; they need to get it together before their face breaks more and he flips out or something... they take a deep breath, pushing at the cracks with their gloved fingers, just to make sure no tiny shards come out. ]
Lupin, I don't know if there's another solution. Ghost and I have a really hard time accepting new pieces as it is. We always have.
[ So to try and replace a whole body inside them just sounds insane, especially when they're pretty sure this method would work. They frown, keeping their eyes closed. ]
Whether or not you like it, this is an option that has to remain open. If it's the only way to bring them home, then... that's just how it is.
[ "That's just how it is." Lupin's not a fan of the turn of phrase. He sees, with internal alarm, as some of their face chips; he doesn't think to connect it to emotional distress, and only assumes that whatever damage they took earlier (when they met with Ghost, probably, although it sounds like Ghost probably couldn't hurt them) runs deeper than it looks. But he doesn't need to know that they're literally cracking under stress to know how serious this is to them. Apologizing, using his name - not getting mad at him for opposing them the way they usually do, the way he was expecting.
They're upset, without a doubt. It may be wise not to stress them out more than they already are - but he can't leave them alone when they're like this, thinking things like this. Unconsciously, he lifts a hand, nearly reaching out instinctively to touch that fracture on their cheek - he catches himself before he does it, dropping his hand back to his knee. It probably wouldn't comfort them any to be touched. Instead, he shakes his head. ]
That's not "just how it is." There's always another solution. And if there isn't, you make one yourself.
[ he hates things like fate - unavoidable tragic ends. It was often said in Paris that nothing was impossible for Arsène Lupin, and he believes that as much as the general public does. ]
... Maybe you're all right with turning back into a nameless "thing" and never talking to me like this again, but I'm not. I told you before, didn't I? I'm glad I met you when you got to be free. I'm afraid I can't let you lock yourself back up again, even if it's for Ghost's sake.
[ Their immediate response is to push back, and tell him that he doesn't get it. Gems don't work like that, their compositions are delicate and inclusions are finicky, difficult things to please when it comes to introducing new pieces. Cairngorm and Ghost especially cannot just latch on to any material willy nilly and be fine with it. But for once, they're not really in the mood to argue with him, not over something petty like the physical properties of living crystals.
What's more important here is the rest of what he's saying, how he seems insistent on defying the fate they were born with. They don't know what to do with that, nor do they know what to do with him confidently asserting some sort of decisive authority over their fate. But there is something slightly reassuring about the way he speaks, that eases their nerves if only the tiniest bit. ]
And what do you suggest I do instead? Wait around for a mass of inclusionless quartz big enough to replace me? [ Their tone is only mildly challenging rather than outright defiant, their hand still obscuring the better half of their face. ] I'm not exaggerating when I say that'll take a millennium.
[ They sigh, frustrated with themself and with Ghost and with him all at the same time. But the end all be all is that they don't want to fight, not when they feel as shitty as they already do. ]
...Look, I haven't exactly had time to think up anything else. Right now, it's more important to make sure I'll even be able to repair them at all. [ By making new material, that is. ] I didn't mean to make you think this is something we're considering immediately. I haven't even brought it up with them.
[ They'll be transparent about that if it'll make this conversation less stressful, and if it'll keep him from making too many more statements that will weaken their emotional state further. ]
I know it isn't. It's that you're considering it at all that worries me, mon ami.
[ Still, he gets what they're saying. And he gets that they don't want to talk about it right now. Far be it from Lupin to force them to go over all these difficult questions and new thoughts when they're still dealing with the bizarre reality of being able to speak with Ghost face-to-face. But it was important to let Cairngorm know immediately that he was opposed to that option. If he doesn't tell them not to, he's not sure anyone will. ]
... Well, let's leave that aside for now. If you need help finding materials, I don't mind pitching in. [ a beat. ] Are you doing all right? Your face is cracked.
I know. [ They do what they can to not snap at him, even though they don't like that something so evident is being pointed out. ] This is just a gem thing. It happens if we— get upset.
[ No doubt, that is putting it extremely lightly. Which they do so deliberately. They find themself not wanting to make him worry or get on their case more, and besides, its pretty obvious that their sibling coming back from the metaphorical dead would be upsetting, so there's no need to hide it. It's better to tell the truth now than lie and have Phos or Ghost contradict what they say about it later, anyway. He just doesn't need to know how serious this is for them specifically.
With a big sigh, they finally move their hand from their face, putting both on the basket and standing up, presumably to go back inside their sweet new crib. Some of the sun catches on the exposed black crystal, bits of their face glinting with their movement. ]
I'm fine. I'll cover it up as soon as I make this into powder and find a mirror inside that house...
[ So they can, you know, actually see where the breaks are and fix it themself, since they're allergic to asking anyone for help. ]
[ In that case, Cairngorm must be a lot more bothered than they're trying to let on, which doesn't surprise him in the least. It still tugs at his heartstrings a little to hear it. They're usually so stoic and untouchable...
He'd like it if he could get them to talk about it and release at least some of their anxieties onto him. The "getting them to do it" is the hard part. Lupin stands up with them, crossing his arms. ]
Why not let me help? Finding a mirror that isn't broken around here isn't easy. I've helped you with your face before, besides.
[ taking care of them feels like it's becoming routine, but he doesn't mind. It gives him an excuse to stick around. ]
[ That earns a stare, while they weigh their options. Pros: it'll be faster, and the more proper way of fixing this break, not to mention he's already helped them before so it won't be as awkward. Cons: they might have to talk about their issues more, and while this is lower on the concern list, letting Lupin get so close to them always makes them feel vulnerable somehow. And there's nowhere to hide if it's their face. ]
...Do what you want.
[ Is what they end up settling on, which is as much of an invitation as he'll get. Weighing the pros and cons of things is great, but what's more Cairngorm's style is to just leave decisions up to the people around them. They're not comfortable deliberately asking for things— a product of never getting to exert their will— but in this moment, it's also because they want him to choose to help them. They don't want him here if they're being pitied, nor do they want him here if he feels like he has to be.
So, they turn heel towards the entrance of the house, not bothering to look back if he's following. They have a feeling he will, but even so, they'll rely on their other senses to know if he's coming along as they enter the house. ]
[ He always does! So of course he's following. Once again, Lupin figured asking that was a coin flip - Cairngorm is reclusive, doesn't like being touched, and especially doesn't like asking people for help. The fact that they don't outright reject him is enough of a go-ahead for his purposes. Leaving them alone to stew in all of this feels like a bad idea.
As he approaches the door behind them, he takes his hat off out of habit, tucking it under one arm. ]
[ They murmur, secretly relieved that he's coming along. A small weight is lifted off their shoulders, but they hide any relaxing of their figure with fetching the proper stand-in mortar and pestle, which happens to be a big wooden bowl and some wooden mallet. ]
Them, me, and another gem that showed up. [ Who knows, maybe Lupin met Phos too. If they were in the right state of mind they'd feel some dread about what that pair will do to their stress levels in the forseeable future. ] Did anyone you know appear?
[ They're curious, but they mostly want to shift focus away from themself, in any way possible. ]
[ he did indeed meet Phos, but he'll save that conversation for another time, probably after accidentally seeing Cairngorm's memories and getting into a brief fight with them. Lupin idly sets his hat on an available countertop, patiently waiting for Cairngorm to gather their things. ]
Ah... No, they didn't. But to be honest, I wasn't hoping to see anyone I knew. [ he leans against a wall, crossing his arms. ] As much as I miss my friends, I don't want them to get stuck here, too.
[ he'd love to see Cardia and Impey again, as well as the others, but it's just as well that they stay safe at home in London. Or, well, "safe." They have food that tastes good and can remain relatively confident that demons aren't going to crawl out of the woods one day and eat them, which is more than he can say for himself at the moment. ]
[ They hum in acknowledgement, taking the basket off their arm and setting it on the table. ]
Well— this place isn't kind to humans. It's probably best if no one you know ever shows up.
[ When they frown after saying so, it seems more like their usual grumpy frown, and they're gentle while they lay out the things they've brought from various kitchen drawers onto the table. Then, they finally sit down, leaving the chair next to them vacant. ]
Of course, I also didn't want other gems here. There are not many of us at home to begin with, so an absence only causes problems.
[ They've heard vaguely from others that time works differently at home while they're here, but they won't rely on that to be the truth. If they're really, truly gone from their world, it only makes the burden of patrol harder on other gems, makes it that much easier for someone to get taken. ]
[ something about that phrasing sounds depressing, even if they're agreeing with him here. Probably because he doesn't know how he's getting out of here yet, himself; the prospect of no one ever showing up sounds like permanent separation. But, he tells himself, that won't be the case. Lupin has yet to be captured permanently by anyone, and he's not planning on starting now. Dwelling on depressing what-ifs won't do any good for anyone. ]
There's that, too. I know what people say about time stopping back home, but that seems too convenient to me.
[ it's not really any more unbelievable than anything else going on here, but, like Cairngorm, he doesn't want to depend on what's currently nothing more than a possibility. Lupin pulls out the chair next to them, sitting down beside them. They do seem a little more relaxed - then again, he could just be seeing what he wants to see. ]
- Do you use the same glue to seal up cracks that you do to put pieces back?
[ They shake their head, taking handfuls of the berries and gently pouring them into the wooden bowl. ]
If no shards come out, we don't use glue.
[ As usual, it seems like they can rely on having to explain their alien anatomy to maintain conversation. They're fine with that. Their left hand comes to feel along the breaks in their face, double checking that there's no little sliver missing that they'd have to go hunting along the ground outside for. ]
My inclusions will seal the cracks on their own in a few days... so this is just to cover it up.
[ They say this with a slight air of uncertainty, because they're not a doctor, and they've never actually cracked their face like this before, not in this particular way. It's different from getting grazed by an arrow or falling on the ice. But, eventually, they shrug, not particularly caring that they're not the world's leading expert in gem first aid, and they take their hand away from their face so they can reach for the mallet they'd brought. ]
[ it also makes this a lot easier. For the moment, Lupin just watches them work, resting his cheek in one hand. At first, he'd thought the idea of "inclusions" was strange, but when he thinks about cells in a human body, he supposes it's not terribly unusual.
He also can't help thinking about a conversation he had with Dextera a while ago about certain styles of artwork. Somehow, he can't imagine Cairn would be that interested in sealing their cracks with gold or silver... ]
... It feels like a bit of a shame, this powdering business.
[ Does he find it weird? They suppose it wouldn't be the first time humans found gem habits strange. But for once, they leave their question open ended, not tacking on any other leading or accusatory questions. They just continue working, grinding the dried plants to dust with (very) practiced hands. ]
Because it hides your sparkle, of course. I've thought that since you first explained it to me. If a jeweler on Earth started covering up his most beautiful gems with white powder, he'd be closing up shop the next moment.
[ his amber eyes flick to the cracks in their face. When he'd first seen them all black like that, he'd been shocked, but only because he wasn't used to it; now, he thinks it's too bad that they hide it. True, quartz isn't particularly valuable or rare, but it's as beautiful as any other gem when it's polished, and Cairngorm is an unusual shade of it. Or, perhaps, it's just grown on him, as Cairngorm has.
It's an idle topic that has little to do with the elephant in the room, at least on the surface. But Lupin thinks that's probably better for now. ]
[ There's silence while they mull that over, but they don't stop working. It's true that wearing powder actually makes their light absorption rate lower, and that it's mainly a cosmetic thing. It isn't like gems do it because they don't like being shiny (quite the opposite), but it's been tradition for so long that no gems think to change it. ]
Well, gems have been wearing it, since a long time before Ghost and I were born. [ They shrug again. ] I don't know. It does have a few practical uses, like protecting us from the elements.
[ But those are small reasons, comparatively. ]
But here, especially, not wearing it would be weird. It makes us look more like humans, at least.
[ They earn plenty of attention just being as lightly shiny as they are!! Not that they're not particularly shy about it, gems have always had a sort of pride about being more beautiful than other living species. But still. Drawing some attention and wanting to draw more to themself are two very different things.
When they finish, they slip their gloves off so they can test the powder with their fingers, blowing the excess off in a white puff when they're done. Yes, they seem satisfied with the result, as they move to open the case of brushes they'd brought to the table. ]
Any other urgent questions about powder before I walk you through this?
[ That is mostly rhetorical, even if they'd vastly prefer to stay on this idle topic than meander into anything serious. ]
[ Lupin snorts at that. If they weren't going through an actual crisis at the moment, he'd give them guff for getting on his case about small talk, of all things, but he'll give them a break this time. They're stressed out; he'll be docile for them. ]
Go ahead and lead the way.
[ he doesn't imagine this can be too difficult, but he listens nonetheless, holding a palm up to accept the brush he assumes is going to be handed to him in a moment. ]
[ With that, they pick up a short brush with a large, full bristles from the case. It looks to be something they took from they took from the abandoned cobbler's store, and it doesn't look particularly fluffy or soft, definitely not the most ideal tool for this task. But they move it gently through the bowl to pick up some of the product, dusting off the excess lightly on the edge before handing the brush to him, pushing the bowl closer to his reach. ]
When you're applying it, don't just swipe it on. [ They turn, slightly reluctantly, to face him more, resting their hands on the table. ] You have to apply it in light touches, or I'll get scratched because the brush is so lacking...
[ They complain, dryly, finishing with a little sigh while they slip their eyes closed. It's weird, their expression is definitely a lot more relaxed than the previous times he's been around to repair them, though they're undoubtedly leagues more stressed out. Hearing their own voice while they're speaking calmly like this, when they're not keeping their tone brusque, gives them a hollow feeling. There's no denying that this body is Ghost's too, this voice is Ghost's too. When they thought Ghost would forever be on the moon, they saw these traits as signs that Ghost wasn't entirely gone, they were still a part of them, even in traces. But now—
It's only confusing, and even reminding themself about all this for a fleeting moment makes them feel like they're not really here. They pray he won't question their behavior— they're not even sure they understand how they're acting themself. ]
Got it. I'll be careful. [ the last thing he wants to do is hurt them by accident, although he wonders if they'd deny any actual pain. There's a pause as Lupin decides how he wants to do this; then, dipping the brush, he pipes up again, sounding a little apologetic. ] ... Sorry, but I'm going to touch your face again.
[ it'll help keep their head steady and his own hand steady if he does, and even though he knows they won't like it, he'd rather they endure that discomfort for a little bit than he scratch them because he was off-balance. Gently, very gently, he cups their chin with one gloved hand, as if he were applying make-up, and begins to lightly brush the powder onto them.
The fact that their face is relaxed doesn't go unnoticed by Lupin, and he's not egotistical enough to imagine it's because he's here. No - it's because they're not really thinking about what's happening now, isn't it? They're distant, thinking about Ghost. He has no idea what ideas are going through their mind right now other than that. Their situation is too different from a human's for him to be able to predict their reaction. He only knows that they're suffering, and, perhaps, feeling more alone than ever, seeing their other half and realizing they aren't whole the way they used to be.
It's rare that he doesn't know how to help, but this time, he really doesn't. He just knows that he wants to. ]
... Cairngorm. I know you and I don't always see eye to eye. And I know I'm only a human. There are a lot of things I probably can't understand even if I want to. [ he pauses, reapplying powder to the brush as he speaks. ] But even so, I want you to know I'm with you. I won't force you to talk about it more, or do anything... Just know that you don't have to bear all of this on your own. I'll help you - even if all I can do to help is listen, it would be my pleasure.
[ Somehow, they still feel taken off guard when he says that. They anticipated that Lupin would continue to pry, say something about it while doing this, but they hadn't anticipated this, or the bittersweet way it makes them feel. It's foreign, to say the least. No one has ever said something like this to them about Ghost, or about anything. They hadn't needed that sort of care before— they'd assumed Ghost would be gone forever after all, and all the roots of the rift between them would remain buried, and would never need to be untangled. Things are different now.
They do what they can to control their expression, but the line of their lips tightens, reminiscent of someone trying to hold back tears. ]
You're always saying such dramatic stuff...
[ But they recover quickly, their voice coming out only the slightest bit strained, as they deliberately take their time to respond to conceal anything else they're feeling. No, they aren't ready to confide in him. Or anyone, ever, maybe.
No one has really offered their hand to them like this, so they don't know how to accept it, even if a part of them wants to. Though they can't trust themself to show any more vulnerability to him than they already have, he'll notice a little more weight on the hand cupping their face, so slight while they shift. Of course, if asked, they'd explain it away that they're trying to make this job easier for him, but the reality is being held like this helps them feel a little more here in the moment, a little more grounded. It's okay, in a distant way, while they have an excuse to let it happen. He already knows well enough that their words never quite match up to their actions. ]
What you can do to help me— is to do what I asked you to. Like this.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Nothing would really “happen” to me. I’d still be the same. [ They pick up the basket so they can move to stand. ] I just wouldn’t be acting on my own as often.
[ If at all. To them, that is the normal state of things, so any grievances they have about it, they’ve long since gotten over. It was the hand they were dealt. Of the twins, they’re definitely the one more alright with their circumstance— they wouldn’t force Ghost into it, but they also wouldn’t oppose too greatly if asked to give up this body. ]
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-- No. [ Lupin's response is quick and decisive. ] Sorry, but I can't let you do that.
[ so maybe this has nothing to do with him, and maybe it's a superhuman affair that he has no chance of truly understanding, and he should keep his nose out of gem business. Whatever. He doesn't really care about that stuff. Lupin, as always, is focused on what matters to him - and in this case, it's the continued existence and freedom of a friend. ]
You have as much of a right to a body of your own as anybody else. If Ghost can't recognize that, then that's their problem. [ his voice is serious, firm. ] If they're really in trouble because of being hollow, we can find some other solution - but we're not sacrificing you. I'm not sacrificing you. I want you here.
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Ah. Sorry.
[ They're getting too caught up, just like they did the last time Lupin spoke to them like this— except this time it's worse because there are undeniable visual cues that this is affecting them deeply. Cairngorm berates themself; they need to get it together before their face breaks more and he flips out or something... they take a deep breath, pushing at the cracks with their gloved fingers, just to make sure no tiny shards come out. ]
Lupin, I don't know if there's another solution. Ghost and I have a really hard time accepting new pieces as it is. We always have.
[ So to try and replace a whole body inside them just sounds insane, especially when they're pretty sure this method would work. They frown, keeping their eyes closed. ]
Whether or not you like it, this is an option that has to remain open. If it's the only way to bring them home, then... that's just how it is.
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They're upset, without a doubt. It may be wise not to stress them out more than they already are - but he can't leave them alone when they're like this, thinking things like this. Unconsciously, he lifts a hand, nearly reaching out instinctively to touch that fracture on their cheek - he catches himself before he does it, dropping his hand back to his knee. It probably wouldn't comfort them any to be touched. Instead, he shakes his head. ]
That's not "just how it is." There's always another solution. And if there isn't, you make one yourself.
[ he hates things like fate - unavoidable tragic ends. It was often said in Paris that nothing was impossible for Arsène Lupin, and he believes that as much as the general public does. ]
... Maybe you're all right with turning back into a nameless "thing" and never talking to me like this again, but I'm not. I told you before, didn't I? I'm glad I met you when you got to be free. I'm afraid I can't let you lock yourself back up again, even if it's for Ghost's sake.
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What's more important here is the rest of what he's saying, how he seems insistent on defying the fate they were born with. They don't know what to do with that, nor do they know what to do with him confidently asserting some sort of decisive authority over their fate. But there is something slightly reassuring about the way he speaks, that eases their nerves if only the tiniest bit. ]
And what do you suggest I do instead? Wait around for a mass of inclusionless quartz big enough to replace me? [ Their tone is only mildly challenging rather than outright defiant, their hand still obscuring the better half of their face. ] I'm not exaggerating when I say that'll take a millennium.
[ They sigh, frustrated with themself and with Ghost and with him all at the same time. But the end all be all is that they don't want to fight, not when they feel as shitty as they already do. ]
...Look, I haven't exactly had time to think up anything else. Right now, it's more important to make sure I'll even be able to repair them at all. [ By making new material, that is. ] I didn't mean to make you think this is something we're considering immediately. I haven't even brought it up with them.
[ They'll be transparent about that if it'll make this conversation less stressful, and if it'll keep him from making too many more statements that will weaken their emotional state further. ]
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I know it isn't. It's that you're considering it at all that worries me, mon ami.
[ Still, he gets what they're saying. And he gets that they don't want to talk about it right now. Far be it from Lupin to force them to go over all these difficult questions and new thoughts when they're still dealing with the bizarre reality of being able to speak with Ghost face-to-face. But it was important to let Cairngorm know immediately that he was opposed to that option. If he doesn't tell them not to, he's not sure anyone will. ]
... Well, let's leave that aside for now. If you need help finding materials, I don't mind pitching in. [ a beat. ] Are you doing all right? Your face is cracked.
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[ No doubt, that is putting it extremely lightly. Which they do so deliberately. They find themself not wanting to make him worry or get on their case more, and besides, its pretty obvious that their sibling coming back from the metaphorical dead would be upsetting, so there's no need to hide it. It's better to tell the truth now than lie and have Phos or Ghost contradict what they say about it later, anyway. He just doesn't need to know how serious this is for them specifically.
With a big sigh, they finally move their hand from their face, putting both on the basket and standing up, presumably to go back inside their sweet new crib. Some of the sun catches on the exposed black crystal, bits of their face glinting with their movement. ]
I'm fine. I'll cover it up as soon as I make this into powder and find a mirror inside that house...
[ So they can, you know, actually see where the breaks are and fix it themself, since they're allergic to asking anyone for help. ]
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He'd like it if he could get them to talk about it and release at least some of their anxieties onto him. The "getting them to do it" is the hard part. Lupin stands up with them, crossing his arms. ]
Why not let me help? Finding a mirror that isn't broken around here isn't easy. I've helped you with your face before, besides.
[ taking care of them feels like it's becoming routine, but he doesn't mind. It gives him an excuse to stick around. ]
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...Do what you want.
[ Is what they end up settling on, which is as much of an invitation as he'll get. Weighing the pros and cons of things is great, but what's more Cairngorm's style is to just leave decisions up to the people around them. They're not comfortable deliberately asking for things— a product of never getting to exert their will— but in this moment, it's also because they want him to choose to help them. They don't want him here if they're being pitied, nor do they want him here if he feels like he has to be.
So, they turn heel towards the entrance of the house, not bothering to look back if he's following. They have a feeling he will, but even so, they'll rely on their other senses to know if he's coming along as they enter the house. ]
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[ He always does! So of course he's following. Once again, Lupin figured asking that was a coin flip - Cairngorm is reclusive, doesn't like being touched, and especially doesn't like asking people for help. The fact that they don't outright reject him is enough of a go-ahead for his purposes. Leaving them alone to stew in all of this feels like a bad idea.
As he approaches the door behind them, he takes his hat off out of habit, tucking it under one arm. ]
Is Ghost going to live here with you?
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[ They murmur, secretly relieved that he's coming along. A small weight is lifted off their shoulders, but they hide any relaxing of their figure with fetching the proper stand-in mortar and pestle, which happens to be a big wooden bowl and some wooden mallet. ]
Them, me, and another gem that showed up. [ Who knows, maybe Lupin met Phos too. If they were in the right state of mind they'd feel some dread about what that pair will do to their stress levels in the forseeable future. ] Did anyone you know appear?
[ They're curious, but they mostly want to shift focus away from themself, in any way possible. ]
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Ah... No, they didn't. But to be honest, I wasn't hoping to see anyone I knew. [ he leans against a wall, crossing his arms. ] As much as I miss my friends, I don't want them to get stuck here, too.
[ he'd love to see Cardia and Impey again, as well as the others, but it's just as well that they stay safe at home in London. Or, well, "safe." They have food that tastes good and can remain relatively confident that demons aren't going to crawl out of the woods one day and eat them, which is more than he can say for himself at the moment. ]
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Well— this place isn't kind to humans. It's probably best if no one you know ever shows up.
[ When they frown after saying so, it seems more like their usual grumpy frown, and they're gentle while they lay out the things they've brought from various kitchen drawers onto the table. Then, they finally sit down, leaving the chair next to them vacant. ]
Of course, I also didn't want other gems here. There are not many of us at home to begin with, so an absence only causes problems.
[ They've heard vaguely from others that time works differently at home while they're here, but they won't rely on that to be the truth. If they're really, truly gone from their world, it only makes the burden of patrol harder on other gems, makes it that much easier for someone to get taken. ]
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There's that, too. I know what people say about time stopping back home, but that seems too convenient to me.
[ it's not really any more unbelievable than anything else going on here, but, like Cairngorm, he doesn't want to depend on what's currently nothing more than a possibility. Lupin pulls out the chair next to them, sitting down beside them. They do seem a little more relaxed - then again, he could just be seeing what he wants to see. ]
- Do you use the same glue to seal up cracks that you do to put pieces back?
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If no shards come out, we don't use glue.
[ As usual, it seems like they can rely on having to explain their alien anatomy to maintain conversation. They're fine with that. Their left hand comes to feel along the breaks in their face, double checking that there's no little sliver missing that they'd have to go hunting along the ground outside for. ]
My inclusions will seal the cracks on their own in a few days... so this is just to cover it up.
[ They say this with a slight air of uncertainty, because they're not a doctor, and they've never actually cracked their face like this before, not in this particular way. It's different from getting grazed by an arrow or falling on the ice. But, eventually, they shrug, not particularly caring that they're not the world's leading expert in gem first aid, and they take their hand away from their face so they can reach for the mallet they'd brought. ]
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[ it also makes this a lot easier. For the moment, Lupin just watches them work, resting his cheek in one hand. At first, he'd thought the idea of "inclusions" was strange, but when he thinks about cells in a human body, he supposes it's not terribly unusual.
He also can't help thinking about a conversation he had with Dextera a while ago about certain styles of artwork. Somehow, he can't imagine Cairn would be that interested in sealing their cracks with gold or silver... ]
... It feels like a bit of a shame, this powdering business.
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[ They glance at him, quirking their brow. ]
In what way...?
[ Does he find it weird? They suppose it wouldn't be the first time humans found gem habits strange. But for once, they leave their question open ended, not tacking on any other leading or accusatory questions. They just continue working, grinding the dried plants to dust with (very) practiced hands. ]
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[ his amber eyes flick to the cracks in their face. When he'd first seen them all black like that, he'd been shocked, but only because he wasn't used to it; now, he thinks it's too bad that they hide it. True, quartz isn't particularly valuable or rare, but it's as beautiful as any other gem when it's polished, and Cairngorm is an unusual shade of it. Or, perhaps, it's just grown on him, as Cairngorm has.
It's an idle topic that has little to do with the elephant in the room, at least on the surface. But Lupin thinks that's probably better for now. ]
Using it to hide cracks makes sense, at least.
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Well, gems have been wearing it, since a long time before Ghost and I were born. [ They shrug again. ] I don't know. It does have a few practical uses, like protecting us from the elements.
[ But those are small reasons, comparatively. ]
But here, especially, not wearing it would be weird. It makes us look more like humans, at least.
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And you don't want to stand out?
[ Lupin sounds a little amused. That's something he can't really relate to. Obviously. He was born to stand in the spotlight... ]
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[ They earn plenty of attention just being as lightly shiny as they are!! Not that they're not particularly shy about it, gems have always had a sort of pride about being more beautiful than other living species. But still. Drawing some attention and wanting to draw more to themself are two very different things.
When they finish, they slip their gloves off so they can test the powder with their fingers, blowing the excess off in a white puff when they're done. Yes, they seem satisfied with the result, as they move to open the case of brushes they'd brought to the table. ]
Any other urgent questions about powder before I walk you through this?
[ That is mostly rhetorical, even if they'd vastly prefer to stay on this idle topic than meander into anything serious. ]
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Go ahead and lead the way.
[ he doesn't imagine this can be too difficult, but he listens nonetheless, holding a palm up to accept the brush he assumes is going to be handed to him in a moment. ]
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When you're applying it, don't just swipe it on. [ They turn, slightly reluctantly, to face him more, resting their hands on the table. ] You have to apply it in light touches, or I'll get scratched because the brush is so lacking...
[ They complain, dryly, finishing with a little sigh while they slip their eyes closed. It's weird, their expression is definitely a lot more relaxed than the previous times he's been around to repair them, though they're undoubtedly leagues more stressed out. Hearing their own voice while they're speaking calmly like this, when they're not keeping their tone brusque, gives them a hollow feeling. There's no denying that this body is Ghost's too, this voice is Ghost's too. When they thought Ghost would forever be on the moon, they saw these traits as signs that Ghost wasn't entirely gone, they were still a part of them, even in traces. But now—
It's only confusing, and even reminding themself about all this for a fleeting moment makes them feel like they're not really here. They pray he won't question their behavior— they're not even sure they understand how they're acting themself. ]
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[ it'll help keep their head steady and his own hand steady if he does, and even though he knows they won't like it, he'd rather they endure that discomfort for a little bit than he scratch them because he was off-balance. Gently, very gently, he cups their chin with one gloved hand, as if he were applying make-up, and begins to lightly brush the powder onto them.
The fact that their face is relaxed doesn't go unnoticed by Lupin, and he's not egotistical enough to imagine it's because he's here. No - it's because they're not really thinking about what's happening now, isn't it? They're distant, thinking about Ghost. He has no idea what ideas are going through their mind right now other than that. Their situation is too different from a human's for him to be able to predict their reaction. He only knows that they're suffering, and, perhaps, feeling more alone than ever, seeing their other half and realizing they aren't whole the way they used to be.
It's rare that he doesn't know how to help, but this time, he really doesn't. He just knows that he wants to. ]
... Cairngorm. I know you and I don't always see eye to eye. And I know I'm only a human. There are a lot of things I probably can't understand even if I want to. [ he pauses, reapplying powder to the brush as he speaks. ] But even so, I want you to know I'm with you. I won't force you to talk about it more, or do anything... Just know that you don't have to bear all of this on your own. I'll help you - even if all I can do to help is listen, it would be my pleasure.
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They do what they can to control their expression, but the line of their lips tightens, reminiscent of someone trying to hold back tears. ]
You're always saying such dramatic stuff...
[ But they recover quickly, their voice coming out only the slightest bit strained, as they deliberately take their time to respond to conceal anything else they're feeling. No, they aren't ready to confide in him. Or anyone, ever, maybe.
No one has really offered their hand to them like this, so they don't know how to accept it, even if a part of them wants to. Though they can't trust themself to show any more vulnerability to him than they already have, he'll notice a little more weight on the hand cupping their face, so slight while they shift. Of course, if asked, they'd explain it away that they're trying to make this job easier for him, but the reality is being held like this helps them feel a little more here in the moment, a little more grounded. It's okay, in a distant way, while they have an excuse to let it happen. He already knows well enough that their words never quite match up to their actions. ]
What you can do to help me— is to do what I asked you to. Like this.
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