[ So much for hoping they'd be fine. This is why he was coming to check in on them in the first place, though. His eyes immediately go to the injuries on their face, narrowing slightly, but he'll have to ask about it later. Hopefully, it isn't from Ghost.
(He was wondering why they'd be picking berries when they don't eat, too, but quickly makes the connection that they must be for their powder.) ]
I ran into someone interesting. [ a pause as he comes to a stop a few feet away from them. ] ... By the looks of things, so did you.
[ "Interesting" is honestly too vague of a term for them to know 100% if he's referring to their partner or to their sibling, but they're willing to be he's referring to the latter, because he only knew of Ghost beforehand. And besides, there's nothing too worrying about their relationship with Phosphophyllite that would cause him to come looking for them. Probably.
Either way, thankfully, it is quite easy for them to imagine how Ghost would have acted meeting him, so they don't need to ask how it went. As soon as he mentioned knowing Cairn, Ghost likely asked for his forgiveness if Cairn had caused him any trouble, and then followed him around willingly... the image is so clear that it'd be funny if it wasn't also horribly confusing to their sense of being, Ghost acting independently that is. They give him a little nod. ]
We spoke already. It was... [ On second thought, they don't want to finish that. What else can they really say? Things aren't much better between them than where they left it a century ago. It's actually likely a lot worse. They close their eyes, their hand coming to rub at the back of their neck. ] ...Well, it's a lot for us all at once.
[ That's all they can offer, and when they open their eyes again, they still don't look at him, getting right back to work. ]
[ i mean. he does have some questions about phos, too, but they're not as immediately concerning...
He gets the feeling "a lot at once" is still putting things lightly. The circumstances of their existence remain alien to Lupin in almost all ways - he doesn't even have a family to loosely relate to this situation with - but he understands one thing about it: it's complicated. Very complicated. Perhaps it would be better for him to keep his nose out of things he doesn't understand. On the other hand, this is the only way he thinks he can understand... and he's worried about Cairngorm's health. Mental, emotional, and - if that crack is anything to go by - maybe physical, too. ]
I can only imagine. [ after a moment, he comes a bit closer, squatting down beside them to get on their eye level - even if they won't look at him. ] What happened?
[ They blurt out, keeping their expression and voice detached from any sense of guilt they feel over it. ]
They were really damaged coming out of that well because of it. So I repaired them...
[ Rather than touch on any part of the complex emotional conflict that their reunion brought, it simply comes easier to just relay the physical events of "what happened". They're not even really sure what it is that Lupin would like to hear; they certainly don't feel comfortable immediately diving into just how hard it had been to meet face to face with their other self who hated them so much, and feels relieved and happy to finally be free of them. Like they said, it's a lot. ]
We'll have to be careful about using things like powder and glue if they intend to keep that weak structure. [ They say this like it is not really up to them whether or not Ghost wants to fuse with them again because— they don't feel that it is. It's always been Ghost's choice in the end. ] I had to use everything I had to fix them.
[ It comes off more as a dry complaint than as any serious concern. ]
[ all Lupin wants to hear is whatever Cairngorm has to share. He didn't come here with the intent of figuring anything out or trying to understand the two of them better, although he wouldn't mind if he did - he only came to make sure Cairngorm wasn't falling to pieces. They're so shy and prickly that he doubts they'd ever come talk to anyone about this on their own. In fact, he'd be surprised if they'd ever talked to anyone about their relationship with Ghost, period.
It's not that he thinks he's their therapist or anything like that. He's nothing more than a (wonderful, heroic, and handsome) thief. But he's also their friend, and he can't imagine leaving them alone to stew in this. ]
Hollow, huh... [ he could kind of tell that their hair looked funny, but seeing as he'd only met one other gem, he figured that might be normal. ] What do you mean, if they intend to keep it? Is that the kind of thing you guys can fix?
[ could they make a new body for Ghost? That would take a whole lot of crystal. Lupin, of course, doesn't even consider that Cairngorm could somehow go back inside them, because the idea is absurd. ]
[ Ah. They finally look at him, giving him a careful stare, before slowly looking back to their hands at work. ]
What I meant was, we could go back together. [ A heavy beat. ] That was always supposed to be the plan if we ever got enough of them back.
[ Ghost wouldn’t be so fragile anymore, and Cairngorm wouldn’t have to deal with the everyday emotional and mental stresses that having autonomy gives them. Things would be normal again and everyone would gain something, even if Ghost didn’t want to be together— it’d be for their safety. They’re also unsure if Ghost will be able to come home with them unless they do this... and they don’t want to lose their sibling a second time. ]
But I don’t know if there’s anyone around skilled enough to do it. That Phosphophyllite would probably glue them on backwards...
[ They pick the last berry, huffing in mild annoyance. ]
[ go back together - as in, become one person again? Lupin's brow furrows, meeting Cairngorm's gaze before they turn away again. ]
If you did that, what would happen to you?
[ doesn't that mean Cairngorm would, essentially, cease to exist? They'd still be around, but locked inside of Ghost's head, unable to move or speak of their own volition. It's an awful thought. Would Cairngorm really be okay with going back to that, after getting to taste freedom for 100 years? They can't be okay with it... Nobody could possibly want that kind of life. Lupin certainly can't imagine it. ]
[ The unfortunate answer is that yes, they’d definitely be okay with it. Unbeknownst to others and even themself consciously, they’re always seeking out ways to relinquish themself and the new life they were given. It’d make them sad to let go of everything they’ve become attached to since — but living the way they did for so long has also warped their perception of their personal value. ]
Nothing would really “happen” to me. I’d still be the same. [ They pick up the basket so they can move to stand. ] I just wouldn’t be acting on my own as often.
[ If at all. To them, that is the normal state of things, so any grievances they have about it, they’ve long since gotten over. It was the hand they were dealt. Of the twins, they’re definitely the one more alright with their circumstance— they wouldn’t force Ghost into it, but they also wouldn’t oppose too greatly if asked to give up this body. ]
-- No. [ Lupin's response is quick and decisive. ] Sorry, but I can't let you do that.
[ so maybe this has nothing to do with him, and maybe it's a superhuman affair that he has no chance of truly understanding, and he should keep his nose out of gem business. Whatever. He doesn't really care about that stuff. Lupin, as always, is focused on what matters to him - and in this case, it's the continued existence and freedom of a friend. ]
You have as much of a right to a body of your own as anybody else. If Ghost can't recognize that, then that's their problem. [ his voice is serious, firm. ] If they're really in trouble because of being hollow, we can find some other solution - but we're not sacrificing you. I'm not sacrificing you. I want you here.
[ There's this pesky feeling again, the one that being confronted with others wanting them around and being cared for always brings. It's overwhelming, especially in this instance, and they shouldn't feel as vulnerable as they do when Lupin says what he does. But there's already physical evidence of how emotionally compromised they are in the moment on their face, and the more he goes on, the breaks already present in their face deepen, extending slightly further with a barely audible clink. ]
Ah. Sorry.
[ They're getting too caught up, just like they did the last time Lupin spoke to them like this— except this time it's worse because there are undeniable visual cues that this is affecting them deeply. Cairngorm berates themself; they need to get it together before their face breaks more and he flips out or something... they take a deep breath, pushing at the cracks with their gloved fingers, just to make sure no tiny shards come out. ]
Lupin, I don't know if there's another solution. Ghost and I have a really hard time accepting new pieces as it is. We always have.
[ So to try and replace a whole body inside them just sounds insane, especially when they're pretty sure this method would work. They frown, keeping their eyes closed. ]
Whether or not you like it, this is an option that has to remain open. If it's the only way to bring them home, then... that's just how it is.
[ "That's just how it is." Lupin's not a fan of the turn of phrase. He sees, with internal alarm, as some of their face chips; he doesn't think to connect it to emotional distress, and only assumes that whatever damage they took earlier (when they met with Ghost, probably, although it sounds like Ghost probably couldn't hurt them) runs deeper than it looks. But he doesn't need to know that they're literally cracking under stress to know how serious this is to them. Apologizing, using his name - not getting mad at him for opposing them the way they usually do, the way he was expecting.
They're upset, without a doubt. It may be wise not to stress them out more than they already are - but he can't leave them alone when they're like this, thinking things like this. Unconsciously, he lifts a hand, nearly reaching out instinctively to touch that fracture on their cheek - he catches himself before he does it, dropping his hand back to his knee. It probably wouldn't comfort them any to be touched. Instead, he shakes his head. ]
That's not "just how it is." There's always another solution. And if there isn't, you make one yourself.
[ he hates things like fate - unavoidable tragic ends. It was often said in Paris that nothing was impossible for Arsène Lupin, and he believes that as much as the general public does. ]
... Maybe you're all right with turning back into a nameless "thing" and never talking to me like this again, but I'm not. I told you before, didn't I? I'm glad I met you when you got to be free. I'm afraid I can't let you lock yourself back up again, even if it's for Ghost's sake.
[ Their immediate response is to push back, and tell him that he doesn't get it. Gems don't work like that, their compositions are delicate and inclusions are finicky, difficult things to please when it comes to introducing new pieces. Cairngorm and Ghost especially cannot just latch on to any material willy nilly and be fine with it. But for once, they're not really in the mood to argue with him, not over something petty like the physical properties of living crystals.
What's more important here is the rest of what he's saying, how he seems insistent on defying the fate they were born with. They don't know what to do with that, nor do they know what to do with him confidently asserting some sort of decisive authority over their fate. But there is something slightly reassuring about the way he speaks, that eases their nerves if only the tiniest bit. ]
And what do you suggest I do instead? Wait around for a mass of inclusionless quartz big enough to replace me? [ Their tone is only mildly challenging rather than outright defiant, their hand still obscuring the better half of their face. ] I'm not exaggerating when I say that'll take a millennium.
[ They sigh, frustrated with themself and with Ghost and with him all at the same time. But the end all be all is that they don't want to fight, not when they feel as shitty as they already do. ]
...Look, I haven't exactly had time to think up anything else. Right now, it's more important to make sure I'll even be able to repair them at all. [ By making new material, that is. ] I didn't mean to make you think this is something we're considering immediately. I haven't even brought it up with them.
[ They'll be transparent about that if it'll make this conversation less stressful, and if it'll keep him from making too many more statements that will weaken their emotional state further. ]
I know it isn't. It's that you're considering it at all that worries me, mon ami.
[ Still, he gets what they're saying. And he gets that they don't want to talk about it right now. Far be it from Lupin to force them to go over all these difficult questions and new thoughts when they're still dealing with the bizarre reality of being able to speak with Ghost face-to-face. But it was important to let Cairngorm know immediately that he was opposed to that option. If he doesn't tell them not to, he's not sure anyone will. ]
... Well, let's leave that aside for now. If you need help finding materials, I don't mind pitching in. [ a beat. ] Are you doing all right? Your face is cracked.
I know. [ They do what they can to not snap at him, even though they don't like that something so evident is being pointed out. ] This is just a gem thing. It happens if we— get upset.
[ No doubt, that is putting it extremely lightly. Which they do so deliberately. They find themself not wanting to make him worry or get on their case more, and besides, its pretty obvious that their sibling coming back from the metaphorical dead would be upsetting, so there's no need to hide it. It's better to tell the truth now than lie and have Phos or Ghost contradict what they say about it later, anyway. He just doesn't need to know how serious this is for them specifically.
With a big sigh, they finally move their hand from their face, putting both on the basket and standing up, presumably to go back inside their sweet new crib. Some of the sun catches on the exposed black crystal, bits of their face glinting with their movement. ]
I'm fine. I'll cover it up as soon as I make this into powder and find a mirror inside that house...
[ So they can, you know, actually see where the breaks are and fix it themself, since they're allergic to asking anyone for help. ]
[ In that case, Cairngorm must be a lot more bothered than they're trying to let on, which doesn't surprise him in the least. It still tugs at his heartstrings a little to hear it. They're usually so stoic and untouchable...
He'd like it if he could get them to talk about it and release at least some of their anxieties onto him. The "getting them to do it" is the hard part. Lupin stands up with them, crossing his arms. ]
Why not let me help? Finding a mirror that isn't broken around here isn't easy. I've helped you with your face before, besides.
[ taking care of them feels like it's becoming routine, but he doesn't mind. It gives him an excuse to stick around. ]
[ That earns a stare, while they weigh their options. Pros: it'll be faster, and the more proper way of fixing this break, not to mention he's already helped them before so it won't be as awkward. Cons: they might have to talk about their issues more, and while this is lower on the concern list, letting Lupin get so close to them always makes them feel vulnerable somehow. And there's nowhere to hide if it's their face. ]
...Do what you want.
[ Is what they end up settling on, which is as much of an invitation as he'll get. Weighing the pros and cons of things is great, but what's more Cairngorm's style is to just leave decisions up to the people around them. They're not comfortable deliberately asking for things— a product of never getting to exert their will— but in this moment, it's also because they want him to choose to help them. They don't want him here if they're being pitied, nor do they want him here if he feels like he has to be.
So, they turn heel towards the entrance of the house, not bothering to look back if he's following. They have a feeling he will, but even so, they'll rely on their other senses to know if he's coming along as they enter the house. ]
[ He always does! So of course he's following. Once again, Lupin figured asking that was a coin flip - Cairngorm is reclusive, doesn't like being touched, and especially doesn't like asking people for help. The fact that they don't outright reject him is enough of a go-ahead for his purposes. Leaving them alone to stew in all of this feels like a bad idea.
As he approaches the door behind them, he takes his hat off out of habit, tucking it under one arm. ]
[ They murmur, secretly relieved that he's coming along. A small weight is lifted off their shoulders, but they hide any relaxing of their figure with fetching the proper stand-in mortar and pestle, which happens to be a big wooden bowl and some wooden mallet. ]
Them, me, and another gem that showed up. [ Who knows, maybe Lupin met Phos too. If they were in the right state of mind they'd feel some dread about what that pair will do to their stress levels in the forseeable future. ] Did anyone you know appear?
[ They're curious, but they mostly want to shift focus away from themself, in any way possible. ]
[ he did indeed meet Phos, but he'll save that conversation for another time, probably after accidentally seeing Cairngorm's memories and getting into a brief fight with them. Lupin idly sets his hat on an available countertop, patiently waiting for Cairngorm to gather their things. ]
Ah... No, they didn't. But to be honest, I wasn't hoping to see anyone I knew. [ he leans against a wall, crossing his arms. ] As much as I miss my friends, I don't want them to get stuck here, too.
[ he'd love to see Cardia and Impey again, as well as the others, but it's just as well that they stay safe at home in London. Or, well, "safe." They have food that tastes good and can remain relatively confident that demons aren't going to crawl out of the woods one day and eat them, which is more than he can say for himself at the moment. ]
[ They hum in acknowledgement, taking the basket off their arm and setting it on the table. ]
Well— this place isn't kind to humans. It's probably best if no one you know ever shows up.
[ When they frown after saying so, it seems more like their usual grumpy frown, and they're gentle while they lay out the things they've brought from various kitchen drawers onto the table. Then, they finally sit down, leaving the chair next to them vacant. ]
Of course, I also didn't want other gems here. There are not many of us at home to begin with, so an absence only causes problems.
[ They've heard vaguely from others that time works differently at home while they're here, but they won't rely on that to be the truth. If they're really, truly gone from their world, it only makes the burden of patrol harder on other gems, makes it that much easier for someone to get taken. ]
[ something about that phrasing sounds depressing, even if they're agreeing with him here. Probably because he doesn't know how he's getting out of here yet, himself; the prospect of no one ever showing up sounds like permanent separation. But, he tells himself, that won't be the case. Lupin has yet to be captured permanently by anyone, and he's not planning on starting now. Dwelling on depressing what-ifs won't do any good for anyone. ]
There's that, too. I know what people say about time stopping back home, but that seems too convenient to me.
[ it's not really any more unbelievable than anything else going on here, but, like Cairngorm, he doesn't want to depend on what's currently nothing more than a possibility. Lupin pulls out the chair next to them, sitting down beside them. They do seem a little more relaxed - then again, he could just be seeing what he wants to see. ]
- Do you use the same glue to seal up cracks that you do to put pieces back?
[ They shake their head, taking handfuls of the berries and gently pouring them into the wooden bowl. ]
If no shards come out, we don't use glue.
[ As usual, it seems like they can rely on having to explain their alien anatomy to maintain conversation. They're fine with that. Their left hand comes to feel along the breaks in their face, double checking that there's no little sliver missing that they'd have to go hunting along the ground outside for. ]
My inclusions will seal the cracks on their own in a few days... so this is just to cover it up.
[ They say this with a slight air of uncertainty, because they're not a doctor, and they've never actually cracked their face like this before, not in this particular way. It's different from getting grazed by an arrow or falling on the ice. But, eventually, they shrug, not particularly caring that they're not the world's leading expert in gem first aid, and they take their hand away from their face so they can reach for the mallet they'd brought. ]
[ it also makes this a lot easier. For the moment, Lupin just watches them work, resting his cheek in one hand. At first, he'd thought the idea of "inclusions" was strange, but when he thinks about cells in a human body, he supposes it's not terribly unusual.
He also can't help thinking about a conversation he had with Dextera a while ago about certain styles of artwork. Somehow, he can't imagine Cairn would be that interested in sealing their cracks with gold or silver... ]
... It feels like a bit of a shame, this powdering business.
[ Does he find it weird? They suppose it wouldn't be the first time humans found gem habits strange. But for once, they leave their question open ended, not tacking on any other leading or accusatory questions. They just continue working, grinding the dried plants to dust with (very) practiced hands. ]
Because it hides your sparkle, of course. I've thought that since you first explained it to me. If a jeweler on Earth started covering up his most beautiful gems with white powder, he'd be closing up shop the next moment.
[ his amber eyes flick to the cracks in their face. When he'd first seen them all black like that, he'd been shocked, but only because he wasn't used to it; now, he thinks it's too bad that they hide it. True, quartz isn't particularly valuable or rare, but it's as beautiful as any other gem when it's polished, and Cairngorm is an unusual shade of it. Or, perhaps, it's just grown on him, as Cairngorm has.
It's an idle topic that has little to do with the elephant in the room, at least on the surface. But Lupin thinks that's probably better for now. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
(He was wondering why they'd be picking berries when they don't eat, too, but quickly makes the connection that they must be for their powder.) ]
I ran into someone interesting. [ a pause as he comes to a stop a few feet away from them. ] ... By the looks of things, so did you.
no subject
[ "Interesting" is honestly too vague of a term for them to know 100% if he's referring to their partner or to their sibling, but they're willing to be he's referring to the latter, because he only knew of Ghost beforehand. And besides, there's nothing too worrying about their relationship with Phosphophyllite that would cause him to come looking for them. Probably.
Either way, thankfully, it is quite easy for them to imagine how Ghost would have acted meeting him, so they don't need to ask how it went. As soon as he mentioned knowing Cairn, Ghost likely asked for his forgiveness if Cairn had caused him any trouble, and then followed him around willingly... the image is so clear that it'd be funny if it wasn't also horribly confusing to their sense of being, Ghost acting independently that is. They give him a little nod. ]
We spoke already. It was... [ On second thought, they don't want to finish that. What else can they really say? Things aren't much better between them than where they left it a century ago. It's actually likely a lot worse. They close their eyes, their hand coming to rub at the back of their neck. ] ...Well, it's a lot for us all at once.
[ That's all they can offer, and when they open their eyes again, they still don't look at him, getting right back to work. ]
no subject
He gets the feeling "a lot at once" is still putting things lightly. The circumstances of their existence remain alien to Lupin in almost all ways - he doesn't even have a family to loosely relate to this situation with - but he understands one thing about it: it's complicated. Very complicated. Perhaps it would be better for him to keep his nose out of things he doesn't understand. On the other hand, this is the only way he thinks he can understand... and he's worried about Cairngorm's health. Mental, emotional, and - if that crack is anything to go by - maybe physical, too. ]
I can only imagine. [ after a moment, he comes a bit closer, squatting down beside them to get on their eye level - even if they won't look at him. ] What happened?
no subject
It seems that Ghost is hollow inside now.
[ They blurt out, keeping their expression and voice detached from any sense of guilt they feel over it. ]
They were really damaged coming out of that well because of it. So I repaired them...
[ Rather than touch on any part of the complex emotional conflict that their reunion brought, it simply comes easier to just relay the physical events of "what happened". They're not even really sure what it is that Lupin would like to hear; they certainly don't feel comfortable immediately diving into just how hard it had been to meet face to face with their other self who hated them so much, and feels relieved and happy to finally be free of them. Like they said, it's a lot. ]
We'll have to be careful about using things like powder and glue if they intend to keep that weak structure. [ They say this like it is not really up to them whether or not Ghost wants to fuse with them again because— they don't feel that it is. It's always been Ghost's choice in the end. ] I had to use everything I had to fix them.
[ It comes off more as a dry complaint than as any serious concern. ]
no subject
It's not that he thinks he's their therapist or anything like that. He's nothing more than a (wonderful, heroic, and handsome) thief. But he's also their friend, and he can't imagine leaving them alone to stew in this. ]
Hollow, huh... [ he could kind of tell that their hair looked funny, but seeing as he'd only met one other gem, he figured that might be normal. ] What do you mean, if they intend to keep it? Is that the kind of thing you guys can fix?
[ could they make a new body for Ghost? That would take a whole lot of crystal. Lupin, of course, doesn't even consider that Cairngorm could somehow go back inside them, because the idea is absurd. ]
no subject
What I meant was, we could go back together. [ A heavy beat. ] That was always supposed to be the plan if we ever got enough of them back.
[ Ghost wouldn’t be so fragile anymore, and Cairngorm wouldn’t have to deal with the everyday emotional and mental stresses that having autonomy gives them. Things would be normal again and everyone would gain something, even if Ghost didn’t want to be together— it’d be for their safety. They’re also unsure if Ghost will be able to come home with them unless they do this... and they don’t want to lose their sibling a second time. ]
But I don’t know if there’s anyone around skilled enough to do it. That Phosphophyllite would probably glue them on backwards...
[ They pick the last berry, huffing in mild annoyance. ]
no subject
[ go back together - as in, become one person again? Lupin's brow furrows, meeting Cairngorm's gaze before they turn away again. ]
If you did that, what would happen to you?
[ doesn't that mean Cairngorm would, essentially, cease to exist? They'd still be around, but locked inside of Ghost's head, unable to move or speak of their own volition. It's an awful thought. Would Cairngorm really be okay with going back to that, after getting to taste freedom for 100 years? They can't be okay with it... Nobody could possibly want that kind of life. Lupin certainly can't imagine it. ]
no subject
Nothing would really “happen” to me. I’d still be the same. [ They pick up the basket so they can move to stand. ] I just wouldn’t be acting on my own as often.
[ If at all. To them, that is the normal state of things, so any grievances they have about it, they’ve long since gotten over. It was the hand they were dealt. Of the twins, they’re definitely the one more alright with their circumstance— they wouldn’t force Ghost into it, but they also wouldn’t oppose too greatly if asked to give up this body. ]
no subject
-- No. [ Lupin's response is quick and decisive. ] Sorry, but I can't let you do that.
[ so maybe this has nothing to do with him, and maybe it's a superhuman affair that he has no chance of truly understanding, and he should keep his nose out of gem business. Whatever. He doesn't really care about that stuff. Lupin, as always, is focused on what matters to him - and in this case, it's the continued existence and freedom of a friend. ]
You have as much of a right to a body of your own as anybody else. If Ghost can't recognize that, then that's their problem. [ his voice is serious, firm. ] If they're really in trouble because of being hollow, we can find some other solution - but we're not sacrificing you. I'm not sacrificing you. I want you here.
no subject
Ah. Sorry.
[ They're getting too caught up, just like they did the last time Lupin spoke to them like this— except this time it's worse because there are undeniable visual cues that this is affecting them deeply. Cairngorm berates themself; they need to get it together before their face breaks more and he flips out or something... they take a deep breath, pushing at the cracks with their gloved fingers, just to make sure no tiny shards come out. ]
Lupin, I don't know if there's another solution. Ghost and I have a really hard time accepting new pieces as it is. We always have.
[ So to try and replace a whole body inside them just sounds insane, especially when they're pretty sure this method would work. They frown, keeping their eyes closed. ]
Whether or not you like it, this is an option that has to remain open. If it's the only way to bring them home, then... that's just how it is.
no subject
They're upset, without a doubt. It may be wise not to stress them out more than they already are - but he can't leave them alone when they're like this, thinking things like this. Unconsciously, he lifts a hand, nearly reaching out instinctively to touch that fracture on their cheek - he catches himself before he does it, dropping his hand back to his knee. It probably wouldn't comfort them any to be touched. Instead, he shakes his head. ]
That's not "just how it is." There's always another solution. And if there isn't, you make one yourself.
[ he hates things like fate - unavoidable tragic ends. It was often said in Paris that nothing was impossible for Arsène Lupin, and he believes that as much as the general public does. ]
... Maybe you're all right with turning back into a nameless "thing" and never talking to me like this again, but I'm not. I told you before, didn't I? I'm glad I met you when you got to be free. I'm afraid I can't let you lock yourself back up again, even if it's for Ghost's sake.
no subject
What's more important here is the rest of what he's saying, how he seems insistent on defying the fate they were born with. They don't know what to do with that, nor do they know what to do with him confidently asserting some sort of decisive authority over their fate. But there is something slightly reassuring about the way he speaks, that eases their nerves if only the tiniest bit. ]
And what do you suggest I do instead? Wait around for a mass of inclusionless quartz big enough to replace me? [ Their tone is only mildly challenging rather than outright defiant, their hand still obscuring the better half of their face. ] I'm not exaggerating when I say that'll take a millennium.
[ They sigh, frustrated with themself and with Ghost and with him all at the same time. But the end all be all is that they don't want to fight, not when they feel as shitty as they already do. ]
...Look, I haven't exactly had time to think up anything else. Right now, it's more important to make sure I'll even be able to repair them at all. [ By making new material, that is. ] I didn't mean to make you think this is something we're considering immediately. I haven't even brought it up with them.
[ They'll be transparent about that if it'll make this conversation less stressful, and if it'll keep him from making too many more statements that will weaken their emotional state further. ]
no subject
I know it isn't. It's that you're considering it at all that worries me, mon ami.
[ Still, he gets what they're saying. And he gets that they don't want to talk about it right now. Far be it from Lupin to force them to go over all these difficult questions and new thoughts when they're still dealing with the bizarre reality of being able to speak with Ghost face-to-face. But it was important to let Cairngorm know immediately that he was opposed to that option. If he doesn't tell them not to, he's not sure anyone will. ]
... Well, let's leave that aside for now. If you need help finding materials, I don't mind pitching in. [ a beat. ] Are you doing all right? Your face is cracked.
no subject
[ No doubt, that is putting it extremely lightly. Which they do so deliberately. They find themself not wanting to make him worry or get on their case more, and besides, its pretty obvious that their sibling coming back from the metaphorical dead would be upsetting, so there's no need to hide it. It's better to tell the truth now than lie and have Phos or Ghost contradict what they say about it later, anyway. He just doesn't need to know how serious this is for them specifically.
With a big sigh, they finally move their hand from their face, putting both on the basket and standing up, presumably to go back inside their sweet new crib. Some of the sun catches on the exposed black crystal, bits of their face glinting with their movement. ]
I'm fine. I'll cover it up as soon as I make this into powder and find a mirror inside that house...
[ So they can, you know, actually see where the breaks are and fix it themself, since they're allergic to asking anyone for help. ]
no subject
He'd like it if he could get them to talk about it and release at least some of their anxieties onto him. The "getting them to do it" is the hard part. Lupin stands up with them, crossing his arms. ]
Why not let me help? Finding a mirror that isn't broken around here isn't easy. I've helped you with your face before, besides.
[ taking care of them feels like it's becoming routine, but he doesn't mind. It gives him an excuse to stick around. ]
no subject
...Do what you want.
[ Is what they end up settling on, which is as much of an invitation as he'll get. Weighing the pros and cons of things is great, but what's more Cairngorm's style is to just leave decisions up to the people around them. They're not comfortable deliberately asking for things— a product of never getting to exert their will— but in this moment, it's also because they want him to choose to help them. They don't want him here if they're being pitied, nor do they want him here if he feels like he has to be.
So, they turn heel towards the entrance of the house, not bothering to look back if he's following. They have a feeling he will, but even so, they'll rely on their other senses to know if he's coming along as they enter the house. ]
no subject
[ He always does! So of course he's following. Once again, Lupin figured asking that was a coin flip - Cairngorm is reclusive, doesn't like being touched, and especially doesn't like asking people for help. The fact that they don't outright reject him is enough of a go-ahead for his purposes. Leaving them alone to stew in all of this feels like a bad idea.
As he approaches the door behind them, he takes his hat off out of habit, tucking it under one arm. ]
Is Ghost going to live here with you?
no subject
[ They murmur, secretly relieved that he's coming along. A small weight is lifted off their shoulders, but they hide any relaxing of their figure with fetching the proper stand-in mortar and pestle, which happens to be a big wooden bowl and some wooden mallet. ]
Them, me, and another gem that showed up. [ Who knows, maybe Lupin met Phos too. If they were in the right state of mind they'd feel some dread about what that pair will do to their stress levels in the forseeable future. ] Did anyone you know appear?
[ They're curious, but they mostly want to shift focus away from themself, in any way possible. ]
no subject
Ah... No, they didn't. But to be honest, I wasn't hoping to see anyone I knew. [ he leans against a wall, crossing his arms. ] As much as I miss my friends, I don't want them to get stuck here, too.
[ he'd love to see Cardia and Impey again, as well as the others, but it's just as well that they stay safe at home in London. Or, well, "safe." They have food that tastes good and can remain relatively confident that demons aren't going to crawl out of the woods one day and eat them, which is more than he can say for himself at the moment. ]
no subject
Well— this place isn't kind to humans. It's probably best if no one you know ever shows up.
[ When they frown after saying so, it seems more like their usual grumpy frown, and they're gentle while they lay out the things they've brought from various kitchen drawers onto the table. Then, they finally sit down, leaving the chair next to them vacant. ]
Of course, I also didn't want other gems here. There are not many of us at home to begin with, so an absence only causes problems.
[ They've heard vaguely from others that time works differently at home while they're here, but they won't rely on that to be the truth. If they're really, truly gone from their world, it only makes the burden of patrol harder on other gems, makes it that much easier for someone to get taken. ]
no subject
There's that, too. I know what people say about time stopping back home, but that seems too convenient to me.
[ it's not really any more unbelievable than anything else going on here, but, like Cairngorm, he doesn't want to depend on what's currently nothing more than a possibility. Lupin pulls out the chair next to them, sitting down beside them. They do seem a little more relaxed - then again, he could just be seeing what he wants to see. ]
- Do you use the same glue to seal up cracks that you do to put pieces back?
no subject
If no shards come out, we don't use glue.
[ As usual, it seems like they can rely on having to explain their alien anatomy to maintain conversation. They're fine with that. Their left hand comes to feel along the breaks in their face, double checking that there's no little sliver missing that they'd have to go hunting along the ground outside for. ]
My inclusions will seal the cracks on their own in a few days... so this is just to cover it up.
[ They say this with a slight air of uncertainty, because they're not a doctor, and they've never actually cracked their face like this before, not in this particular way. It's different from getting grazed by an arrow or falling on the ice. But, eventually, they shrug, not particularly caring that they're not the world's leading expert in gem first aid, and they take their hand away from their face so they can reach for the mallet they'd brought. ]
no subject
[ it also makes this a lot easier. For the moment, Lupin just watches them work, resting his cheek in one hand. At first, he'd thought the idea of "inclusions" was strange, but when he thinks about cells in a human body, he supposes it's not terribly unusual.
He also can't help thinking about a conversation he had with Dextera a while ago about certain styles of artwork. Somehow, he can't imagine Cairn would be that interested in sealing their cracks with gold or silver... ]
... It feels like a bit of a shame, this powdering business.
no subject
[ They glance at him, quirking their brow. ]
In what way...?
[ Does he find it weird? They suppose it wouldn't be the first time humans found gem habits strange. But for once, they leave their question open ended, not tacking on any other leading or accusatory questions. They just continue working, grinding the dried plants to dust with (very) practiced hands. ]
no subject
[ his amber eyes flick to the cracks in their face. When he'd first seen them all black like that, he'd been shocked, but only because he wasn't used to it; now, he thinks it's too bad that they hide it. True, quartz isn't particularly valuable or rare, but it's as beautiful as any other gem when it's polished, and Cairngorm is an unusual shade of it. Or, perhaps, it's just grown on him, as Cairngorm has.
It's an idle topic that has little to do with the elephant in the room, at least on the surface. But Lupin thinks that's probably better for now. ]
Using it to hide cracks makes sense, at least.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)